Garrison Keillor - "Impeach Bush Now"

Now let me get one thing straight up front. I'd rather drink New Orleans levee water, go hunting with Dick Cheney or spend a fun filled weekend at Guantánamo Bay then listen to the life sucking radio program known as The Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor. The show moves along at two speeds - slow and "hand me the defibrillator."

That being said, I now have new found respect for this curmugeon of the heartland. In the latest edition of salon.com he calls for the impeachment of George Bush. Here are the highlights:

"These are troubling times for all of us who love this country, as surely we all do, even the satirists. You may poke fun at your mother, but if she is belittled by others it burns your bacon. And then you read the paper and realize the country is led by a man who isn't paying attention, and you hope that somebody will poke him. Do we need to impeach him to bring some focus to this man's life? The man was lost and then he was found and now he's more lost than ever, plus being blind."

"Wiretap surveillance of Americans without a warrant? Great. Go for it. How about turning over American ports to a country more closely tied to 9/11 than Saddam Hussein was? Fine by me. No problem. And what about the war in Iraq? Hey, you're doing a heck of a job, Brownie. No need to tweak a thing."

"But torture is something else. When Americans start pulling people's fingernails out with pliers and poking lighted cigarettes into their palms, then we need to come back to basic values. Most people agree with this, and in a democracy that puts the torturers in a delicate position. They must make sure to destroy their e-mails and have subordinates who will take the fall. Because it is impossible to keep torture secret. It goes against the American grain and it eats at the conscience of even the most disciplined, and in the end the truth will come out. It is coming out now."

"According to the leaders of the bipartisan 9/11 Commission, our country is practically as vulnerable today as it was on 9/10. Our seaports are wide open, our airspace is not secure except for the nation's capital, and little has been done about securing the nuclear bomb materials lying around in the world. They give the administration D's and F's in most categories of defending against terrorist attack."

"The peaceful lagoon that is the White House is designed for the comfort of a vulnerable man. Perfectly understandable, but not what is needed now. The U.S. Constitution provides a simple ultimate way to hold him to account for war crimes and the failure to attend to the country's defense. Impeach him and let the Senate hear the evidence."

Bravo, Garrison. Lake Weedbegone would be proud of you.