Tuesday, December 05, 2006

WANT TO HELP KILL OUR TROOPS OR DESTROY OUR ENVIRONMENT? - THEN BUY A DELL COMPUTER

If you want to financially support the politicians who are determined to prolong this immoral and illegal war in Iraq, destroy the environment, and defile our Constitution then buy a brand new Dell computer.

Michael Dell contributes large sums of your money to George Bush and many other republican hoodlums. Purchasing a computer from Michael Dell will help put more U.S. troops in harms way thereby causing more deaths.

Here's just a few of the criminals Dell gives your money to:

Congressman Dennis Hastert (R) IL - Recommended that New Orleans be bulldozed. Made a $2 million profit on the sale of land several miles away from a highway project called the Prairie Parkway for which he secured $207 million in federal funds. In 2004, Rep. Hastert established a trust through which he and his business partners purchased 69 acres of land for $340,000, which provided road access to his farm that had been landlocked. In 2005, Rep. Hastert transferred this land from his farm to the trust. Then, during House and Senate negotiations over the highway authorization bill, Rep. Hastert added $152 million to help build a highway project and $55 million for an interchange several miles from his property. Four months after the legislation was signed, the trust sold Rep. Hastert’s parcels for nearly $5 million to a real estate development firm. By earmarking money to improve the value of his land, Rep. Hastert violated House rules prohibiting taking official action for the prospect of personal gain.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

APOLOGY TO AMERICA

As the events of the last six years unfolded, I felt that the majority of the American people had little hope of realizing the truth and overcoming ignorance. It seemed that folks were comfortable with:

1. A lying, corrupt, cowardly president.
2. Torturing prisoners, illegal wiretapping, eliminating civil rights and basically disregarding the Constitution.
3. Banning stem cell research.
4. Ignoring the human rights of gay individuals.
5. Supporting an illegal and immoral war in order to increase personal wealth (as in Haliburton).
6. Raping health care and prescription coverage for financial gain.
7. Ensuring that the religious right-wing wackos are allowed to exert undue influence on government.
8. Maintaining the pitiful state of our educational system.
9. The deliberate destruction of New Orleans because the people were not part of the president's "base".
10. Destroying the environment in order to line the pockets of the president's corporate cronies.

On November 8, 2006 the American people (at least 40% of the eligible voters -- a 1% increase over 2004) -- wrested control of the House of Representatives and the Senate.

Is it possible that the wheels of change are finally starting to turn? To answer that question, consider the following:

1. Missouri listened to Michael J. Fox and voted to support stem cell research and newly-elected Senator Claire McCaskill.
2. Arizona rejected a ban on same-sex marriages.
3. 28 of our 50 governors are now Democrats.
4. South Dakota rejected the abortion ban.
5. Highest turnout of voters aged 18-30 in twenty years.
6. First woman Speaker of the House - Nancy Pelosi (I thought my wife had the job first?)
7. RUMSFELD FORCED TO RESIGN!
8. RUMSFELD FORCED TO RESIGN!
9. RUMSFELD FORCED TO RESIGN!

Just when I thought I had to move to Canada with Alec Baldwin, the American people came through and delivered a technical knockout to President Chimpy McFlightsuit. Let's not stop now -- let's hit them while they're down. We need hearings, investigations, indictments and dare I say it? IMPEACHMENT!

If the repuglicans thought they were justified in impeaching President Clinton just because he had his knob polished then Dubya is definitely owed an impeachment.

If that fails, I bet for a gram of crystal meth that we could get Rev. Ted Haggard to obtain some presidential DNA on his blue dress for us. What's good for the goose.......

So America...I apologize.
On to 2008...
GORE/OBAMA

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Limbaugh on Michael J. Fox ad for MO Dem: "Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting"

Rush Limbaugh accused actor Michael J. Fox, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, of "exaggerating the effects of the disease" in a recent campaign advertisement for Missouri Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill. Limbaugh added that "this is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting, one of the two."

Rush should know. He's the expert on taking medication.

Shameless, Rush? What's really shameless is selling expensive subscriptions for your online radio show to our troops in Iraq. You say you support the troops. Since they're sending money to you, I'd say the troops are supporting you.

You're the most dangerous kind of right-wing republican shill... one that many people take seriously. At least Ann Coulter is funny.

Link to Michael J. Fox video

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Grace Slick dedicates Virgin America jet

Rock icon Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane was on hand Wednesday to dedicate Virgin America Inc.'s new corporate headquarters and an aircraft named after the legendary 1960's band.

The "Jefferson Airplane" is the first of Virgin America's new fleet to be named. The company has invited the public to submit entries to name its other planes.

Check out her photo - I hate when great rockers grow old.



digg story

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Howard Stern is the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby?

An attorney representing former Playboy Playmate and reality television star Anna Nicole Smith said he is the father of her daughter, born earlier this month in the Bahamas.
Howard K. Stern added that he plans to marry Smith.
Howard K. Smith? Figures the stupid woman would marry the wrong Howard Stern.
Stern said he and Smith are confident he is the father.
I wonder which one of them is not sure?
Entertainment reporter and photographer Larry Birkhead also claims to be the father of the girl, named Danilynne Hope. In a statement, Birkhead said Smith told him he is the child's father, and that he has proof.
It better be a video -- they have a college education to pay for.
Stern said he and Smith plan to marry "at some point. Right now we have to somehow get through what we're going through."
The baby, he said, "is the one ray of hope. It's the one thing that's really keeping her going."

Regardless, they plan to name the child "Baba Booey".

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Biggest Terrorist of All Time

I know that the current administration has long since given up on finding Osama Bin Laden. But what are we doing to bring the world's biggest terrorist to justice?

I'm surprised that the news media has not made more noise about this man's reign of terror. As of 9/13/06, he has murdered a minimum of 44,532 people. Some sources estimate the total to be as high as 49,209.

That's 17 times more deaths than Osama Bin Laden is responsible for.




Let's look at the facts:
DeathsWoundedWhere
2,792 (civilian)2,261World Trade Center
2,672 (military) 41,860 (civilian)19,910Iraq

We don't know where Bin Laden is but we know where this scumbag is at all times. And it won't cost lives or money to find him. Let's send him to Iraq for trial today.

Iraq Coalition Casualty Count

Friday, August 11, 2006

James Dobson lends support to Mel Gibson

Focus on the Family ministry founder James Dobson spoke in support Thursday of Mel Gibson and his film, The Passion of the Christ, saying Gibson's drunken tirade during a traffic stop had nothing to do with "one of the finest films of this era." Mr. Dobson applauds this violent film because it supports his own anti-Jewish preachings. He also enjoyed Halloween until he found out that Michael Myers wasn't Jewish.

Gibson, 50, who was arrested for drunken driving Aug. 1 in Malibu, California, launched an anti-Semitic rant toward the arresting deputy. Gibson said, "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asked him, "Are you a Jew?" He also called the female deputy "Sugar tits".

"Mel has also indicated his willingness to seek help to overcome his alcoholism, and has asked the Jewish community for forgiveness," Dobson said. "What more can he do?" Well, Mel can show his support for the Jews by getting a circumcision and placing his nazi father in a Jewish nursing home.

James Dobson is one of the worse hate-mongering bigots of our age. He is a co-founder of the "Focus on the Family" cult which uses its tax-exemption status to further its anti-woman, anti-gay, religious right agenda. His anti-semitic viewpoints go hand-in-hand with his defense of the Jew-hating Mel Gibson and his anti-semitic film.

Gibson has had a troubled relationship with Jewish organizations since his violent 2004 blockbuster about the crucifixion, which was criticized for portraying Jews as responsible for Jesus' death. Supporters, including Dobson, say the movie followed the Gospel story.

Mr. Dobson was also puzzled that Mr. Gibson knew Mrs. Dobson's pet name.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Guilty By Reason of Insanity

Jurors in Andrea Yates’ murder retrial returned a verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity.

Earlier Wednesday jurors asked to see a family photo and candid pictures of her five smiling youngsters taken before she drowned them in the family bathtub.

Soon after arriving at the courthouse, the jury of six men and six women also reviewed the state’s definition of insanity: that someone, because of a severe mental illness, does not know a crime he is committing is wrong.

Why is the verdict "not guilty by reason of insanity"? Shouldn't it be "guilty by reason of insanity"? We should be able to find someone guilty and still confine them to a mental facility for the rest of their life. The fact that Andrea Yates could conceivably be set free someday is unacceptable to me. Perhaps if she drowned one child, I could be persuaded to buy the temporary insanity defense. But Andrea Yates took her time and methodically drowned all FIVE of her children.

This current prosecution only charged Anndrea Yates with the murders of three of her children. Since there is no statute of limitations on murder, we can only hope that the prosecution is saving the remaining two murder, charges in case Ms. Yates is ever releaased.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Soldiers Words May Test PBS Language Rules

The PBS documentarian Ken Burns has been working for six years on "The War" a soldier's-eye view of World War II, and those who have seen parts of the 14-plus hours say they are replete with salty language appropriate to discussions of the horrors of war. What viewers will see and hear when it is broadcast in Sept. 2007 is an open question.

A new Public Broadcasting Service policy that went into effect immediately when it was issued on May 31 requires producers whose shows are broadcast before 10 p.m. to adhere to tough editing requirements when it comes to coarse language, to comply with tightened rulings on broadcast indecency by the Federal Communications Commission.

Most notably, PBS’s deputy counsel, Paul Greco, wrote in a memo to stations, it is no longer enough simply to bleep out offensive words audibly when the camera shows a full view of the speaker’s mouth. From now on, the on-camera speaker’s mouth must also be obscured by a digital masking process, a solution that PBS producers have called cartoonish and clumsy.

What is this country reverting into? I guess it's ok for the chimp-in-chief to say "Syria and Lebanon gotta stop this shit" on network television and get away with it. Why isn't this moron fined?

"The War" is a 14 hour record of real life heroes filmed by one of the best documentarians of our time. These men risked their lives for this country. They didn't have their daddies get them into the reserves in order to avoid combat only to go AWOL anyway. I, for one, want to hear what they have to say in their own words without fuzzy pixelation covering their mouths. Although I wouldn't mind using these devices whenever president chimpo opens his lying mouth. Anything dubya has to say is what's really obscene.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

What the President Did Today

This is an email I received from Governor Howard Dean, M.D.
This is no longer a Republican or Democratic issue. This is about one man putting his own corrupt political agenda over the health and happiness of millions of people.
"Dear JEFFREY,

Today George Bush chose political posturing over human life, denying hope to millions of Americans, their families and loved ones who are affected by debilitating diseases.
He used his first-ever veto to stop the discovery of new cures for diseases like juvenile diabetes, leukemia, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, and many others. More than 70% of Americans from every walk of life -- whether in the faith community, the science lab, the hospital or at the bedside of a sick relative -- and majorities in both chambers of Congress disagree, but that didn't stop him.
The bill he vetoed wasn't a sweeping change -- it was a small, practical measure that would have made a big difference for medical research based on sound science. But the consequences are sweeping: the proposed law would have allowed research on excess embryos generated during processes like fertility treatments -- embryos that would otherwise simply be discarded.
Now is the time to speak out. Send a message to your representatives letting them know that you support cure discovery now:

If George Bush truly believed his rhetoric about stem cells, he would do something about the processes that create the excess embryos in the first place. But he won't. They will continue to go unused (his spokesman limply calls it a "tragedy"), and cures will continue to be beyond our reach.
Bush may not be willing to choose cure discovery over his right-wing base, but the vast majority of Americans support cure research.
Even after his veto, Democrats in Congress will continue to keep the pressure on to get more votes. If Republicans refuse to join the cause and override Bush's veto, it will have to be decided at the ballot box in November. Democrats will continue to fight to keep this hope for the discovery of new cures alive.
The Congress and the rest of the country are paying attention right now, and we have to seize this moment to build the coalition of support for cure discovery.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Barry Manilow sends park hooligans fleeing, angers nearby residents

To rid a park of hooligans in a Sydney suburb, the town council began playing Barry Manilow and Doris Day music at high volume from 9-midnight every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evening. The tactic worked, but now the people who live near the park can't sleep at night and are unhappy about it.

They should be grateful. The council could have gone for the jugular by using Michael Bolton.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Pink Floyd has lost its "crazy diamond."
Syd Barrett, the brilliant, erratic catalyst for Floyd's early success, "died peacefully at home". He was 60 years old. The musician had been in ill health for years, battling diabetes, as well as stomach ulcers.
A singer and guitarist, and originally the band's principal songwriter, Barrett masterminded Pink Floyd's breakthrough album, Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, before being sidelined in the late 1960s by behavioral problems.
Barrett teamed with bassist Roger Waters, drummer Nick Mason and keyboardist Richard Wright to launch Floyd in 1965, deriving the name from two bluesmen, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.
Barrett fronted the band during its initial rise to fame, culminating with the 1967 classic The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which mixed jazz, rock and R&B with psychedelia--a template for the prog-rock sound the band refined in its 1970s heyday--and propelled Floyd to stardom.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Woman Accused of Witchcraft in 1706 Cleared

It took 300 years, but Virginia's only convicted witch has finally been pardoned.

State Gov. Timothy M. Kaine was asked to exonerate Annabelle Coulter, who was tried by water and accused of using her powers to cause a woman to miscarry. On Monday, the 300th anniversary of the "ducking" trial, Kaine obliged.

"I am pleased to officially restore her good name," Kaine said in a letter that was read aloud by Virginia Beach Mayor Meyera Oberndorf before a local re-enactment of the ducking.

"With 300 years of hindsight, we all certainly can agree that trial by water is an injustice," Kaine wrote.

On July 10, 1706, her thumbs were tied to her toes and she was dropped into a river. She floated, proof that she was guilty because the pure water cast out her evil spirit, according to the belief system of the time.

Written descriptions of the witch have yielded this artist's impression of what she looked like:



Sunday, July 09, 2006

Keep Ringo Out of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame

Seth Swirsky is a self-proclaimed songwriter, author, recording artist and memorabilia collector. (Can anybody say "Jack of all trades"?). Seth is making a plea to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame (an oxymoron?) to induct Ringo Starr, the only Beatle not previously bestowed with this dubious honor.

I say to Ringo: "DON'T DO IT!"

Let's take a look at some of the musicians not deemed worthy enough to be inducted:

YES
Moody Blues
Blood, Sweat and Tears
ELP
Johnny Winter
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Procol Harum
Jethro Tull
Doobie Brothers
Renaissance
Genesis
King Crimson
Gordon Lightfooot
Peter, Paul and Mary
Kate Bush
Rickie Lee Jones
Country Joe and the Fish
Richie Havens
Funk Brothers

Ringo - do you want to be associated with those named aboved or with Dick Clark and Michael Jackson?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Excommunication Is Sought for Stem Cell Researchers

Scientists who engage in stem cell research using human embryos should be subject to excommunication from the Roman Catholic Church, according to a senior Vatican official.

Cardinal Alfonso López Trujillo, who heads the group that proposes family-related policy for the church, said in an interview that stem cell researchers should be punished in the same way as women who have abortions and doctors who perform them.

Hey Al! Embryonic stem cells ARE NOT taken from abortions. They're taken from unused, discarded, frozen embryos which would be destroyed anyway!

The catholic church picks emryonic stem cell researchers to be excommunicated but neglects to excommunicate the following sinners:

Priests who rape and molest young boys.

Adolph Hitler.

Charles Manson.

Catholic members of the Bush administration.

The Mafia.

Ann Coulter.

By the way, they did excommunicate Martin Luthor, Cervantes, Joe DiMaggio and Sinead O'Connor. The relevance of the catholic church has sunk to a new low. If I were an embryonic stem cell researcher, I would consider excommunication to be a badge of honor.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Web users to 'patrol' US border

A US state is to enlist web users in its fight against illegal immigration by offering live surveillance footage of the Mexican border on the internet.

The plan will allow web users worldwide to watch Texas' border with Mexico and phone the authorities if they spot any apparently illegal crossings.

Texas Governor Rick Perry said the cameras would focus on "hot-spots and common routes" used to enter the US.

Please note: This will only work if the illegal immigrants are female and naked.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

First Ladies Fight Back

With Nancy Reagan's blessing and in defiance of President Bush's veto threat, Senate Republican leaders are making plans for a vote this summer on a bill to restore federal funding of embryonic stem cell research.

Too little too late, guys. November is coming and the republican party's days are numbered. You want to impress me? Impeach the criminal in the white house!


Supporters contend government funding of the budding science could someday cure diseases suffered by millions of people. Opponents argue that harvesting such stem cells amounts to abortion because an embryo is destroyed in the process.

Bush's veto threat stands, according to White House spokesman Ken Lisaius. Neither chamber of Congress has demonstrated the two-thirds support required to overcome a veto.

"The president's embryonic stem cell policy serves both science and ethics," Lisaius said.

Oh...I thought it serves Bush's insane desire to kiss the ass of the religious right.

Many of history's First Ladies of the past have supported funding causes which affected their presidential hubbies:

Eleanor Roosevelt - polio
Anne Lincoln - color blindness
Martha Washington - dental hygiene
Hillary Clinton - sex addiction
Betty Ford - cerebral palsy
Laura Bush - mental retardation

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Keith Richards' Brain Just Fine

The Rolling Stones want everyone to know that Keith Richards hasn't suffered any brain damage--at least not stemming from his latest misadventure.

A rep for the band has emphatically denied a report in the New Zealand Herald that the hard-living, accident-prone guitarist has undergone two surgeries for his head injury earlier this month and that his condition is much more serious than first thought. The spokeswoman claims that the coconut induced incident has been grossly overblown.

Yeah.....Keith has no brain damage.

And I fart gold.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Harry Potter Films We'd Rather Not See

(Courtesy of Captain Wacky's Lists)
Harry Potter and the Uneventful Year When No One Tried to Kill Him
Harry Potter and the New Love Interest Who Happens to Have the Same Name as the 15-Year-Old Girl Writing this List
Harry Potter and the New Love Interest Who Happens to Have the Same Name as the 15-Year-Old Boy Writing this List
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sucrets
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Kidney Stone
Harry Potter and the Uncomforatble Oversexualization of Minors
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer are Stoned
Harry Potter and the Burning Sensation
Harry Potter and the Camping Weekend With Ron That Will Never Be Spoken Of Again
Harry Potter and the E Street Band
Harry Potter and the Things You Have to do to Get By in Prison
Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner Detainees of Azerbaijan
Harry Potter and the Wand of Franchise Extension

Korean Scientists Develop Female Android

Standing 1.6 meters tall and weighing about 50 kilograms, she can understand others, speak, blink with her eyes and makes several facial expressions.

But she is not human, rather an android developed by a team of South Korean scientists. It is only the second time in the world that an android has been developed _ Japan made the first one.

She is named "EveR-1", a combination of Eve and robot, looks just like a Korean female in her early 20s including her shape that is benchmarked against the nation's model.

From a distance, the android could be confused with a real, flesh and blood human being, according to Baeg.

The Korean robot can move the upper half of her body such as arms and hands but she cannot travel because her lower half is immobile.

Who wouldn't hit that after a few beers?

Woman to Give Birth at Age 63

BRITAIN’S oldest expectant mother answered her critics yesterday, saying that her IVF-induced pregnancy, though “potentially controversial”, had been planned responsibly.

Patricia Rashbrook, a consultant child psychiatrist, will be 63 when she gives birth. She is seven months pregnant after treatment by an Italian embryologist. Doctors and anti abortion groups have accused her of selfishness and expressed fear for the child’s long-term welfare, growing up with two parents already over 60.

I don't know what the big deal is.

They can buy diapers in bulk for the both of them.

They can eat the same food.

They'll have the same number of teeth.

They both will have trouble finding their way home by themselves.

Then there's breast feeding -- there's an image I can't get out of my head.

Presidential Idol

In American Idol news, a poll conducted by Washington-based public opinion research firm Pursuant Inc. determined some not-so-shocking information about the talent search's viewing public.

According to the survey, one in ten American adults has cast a vote for an Idol contestant this season, and of the 1,045 people who responded to the telephone poll, 35 percent of those surveyed said they believed voting on American Idol was as important or even more important than voting in a U.S. presidential election.

Randy Jackson: "George, dude, check it out. It was just aw-ight, a little pitchy in foreign policy. Domestic policy was completely out of tune. You gonna be going home soon, dog."

Paula Abdul: "First of all, you look great, dubya. You know I love ya - I'm a real fan even though your performance was weak. "

Simon Cowell: "A complete and utter disaster! It was bad presidential karaoke."

There's no hope for us -- take the gas pipe now!

George Bush Supports Teaching Paganism in Schools

Creationism dismissed as 'a kind of paganism' by Vatican's astronomer

Believing that God created the universe in six days is a form of superstitious paganism, the Vatican astronomer Guy Consolmagno claimed yesterday.

He described creationism, whose supporters want it taught in schools alongside evolution, as a "kind of paganism" because it harked back to the days of "nature gods" who were responsible for natural events.

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism - it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

Since dubya wants creationism taught in our schools, he's really supporting the teaching of paganism.

George Bush is living proof that there is no "intelligent design".

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Walgreens Shut Down After Meth Lab Found In Parking Lot

Authorities say about 40 people were evacuated from a Walgreens after a methamphetamine laboratory was found in the trunk of a car in the store's parking lot.

Sheriff officials say 45-year-old Michael Wright, 19-year-old Jodie Duncan and 31-year-old Jeremie Messer, all of Ashland, Alabama were arrested. They are charged with conspiracy to manufacture meth, unlawful possession of listed chemicals and marijuana possession.

Authorities got a tip that the group was visiting several drug stores buying cold medicine, which is used to make meth.

On the other hand, the drive-thru traffic was moving at a rather brisk pace.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Bodman sees up to three years of fuel pain

Gasoline prices have soared an average of 60 cents a gallon in less than a month because suppliers are unable to keep up with demand, a situation that could persist up to three more years, Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman said Sunday.

So, in other words, things will get better once George Bush is out of office.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

President Admits that his Foreign Policy is Based on Advice from Invisible Being

Today, George Bush explained how God influences his foreign policy.

"I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true. One, I believe there's an Almighty. And B, I believe one of the great gifts of the Almighty is the desire in everybody's soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free."

Now, I have no problem if people want to worship God but perhaps there are more concrete and appropriate sources of information to help determine foreign policy.

How about diplomatic relations, world history, trade relations, economics, civil rights to name a few?

This just in - several new advisors have been appointed for members of the president's cabinet:
Deputy Dawg - Dept. of Justice
Jolly Green Giant - Dept. of Agriculture
G.I. Joe - Dept. of Defense
Zeus - Dept. of Energy
Daddy Warbucks - Dept. of the Treasury
3 Little Pigs - Dept. of Housing & Urban Development
John Henry - Dept. of Labor
Paul Bunyan - Dept. of the Interior

Study: When Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole Smith, Donald Trump Appear In Ads, Consumers Are Less Likely To Buy The Product...

A recent study revealed that Ty Pennington, the megaphone-wielding host of ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," isn't the most recognized name in Hollywood, but he carries the most clout on Madison Avenue.

The celeb handyman, who sells his own line of housewares at Sears, is the best at getting consumers to pull out the credit card, a new study says.

Sexpot Anna Nicole Smith, hotel heiress Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, supermodel Kate Moss and real estate mogul Donald Trump were all examples of celebs whose association made it less likely a person would buy a product, the study said.

They're just marketing the wrong products. Here are some suggestions:

Anna Nicole Smith - "a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Paris Hilton - Sony's "Low Blow", the new low-light video camera.

Donald Trump - Men's Hair Club for Men.

Britney Spears - Pop-Tarts.

Kate Moss - "the only person who's been in Betty Ford more times than Gerald."

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Look -- Up in the Sky! Product Placements!

Superheroes like Superman and Spider-Man can save mankind from natural disasters, space aliens and evil mutants but there's one thing they are powerless to stop: Advertisers shilling products within the pages of the comic books they call home.

In July, DC Comics, home to characters such as Batman and Aquaman, is launching "Rush City," a six-part miniseries that boasts visible promotional support from Pontiac.

Over the past few months, Marvel Entertainment Inc. has begun putting the "swoosh" logo from Nike Inc. in the scenes of some of its titles, such as "New X-Men." Last week, Dodge finalized an ad pact that will include product placements in Marvel comics. Marvel, home of Spider-Man, Captain America and Sub-Mariner, may feature Dodge's new car, the Caliber, in the books' cityscapes, including on billboards, T-shirts or signs over the next four to eight months.

We can look forward to these shameless plugs in the future:

The Flash: ejaculation delay ointment
Spider-man: Raid
Wonder Woman: Wonder bras
Iron Man: Rustoleum
Luke Cage: Geri-curl
Thor: Craftsmen hammers
Hulk: Slimfast
The Thing: Vaseline skin lotion
Hawkman: Donald Rumsfeld's PR firm
The Two Gun Kid: Dick Cheney's ranch
Black Panther: Eldridge Cleaver books
Dr. Strange: Bill Frist's autobiography
Aquaman: Brita water filters
Super man: Acme Plungers
Mr. Fantastic: Viagra
Green Lantern: Brasso brass cleaner
Swamp Thing: Sears Wet/Dry Vac

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Beverage Creates a Buzz

Indians in a remote mountain village in southern Colombia are marketing a particularly refreshing soft drink that harks back to Coca-Cola's original formula, when "coca" was in the name for a reason.

For six years, the Nasa have been quietly selling coca-flavored cookies, aromatic teas, wines and ointments at informal sidewalk stalls and in health food stores.

Chewing coca leaves, which depresses the central nervous system, has enabled Indians to soften the effects of hunger, hard work and high altitude for centuries.

I wonder how long it will take for these products to show up in the programmers lounge of Microsoft. Maybe then Windows Vista would ship on time.

It's the "Real Thing."

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Vermont Dems vote to urge Congress to impeach Bush

Leaders of the Vermont Democratic Party voted Saturday to urge Congress to begin impeachment proceedings against President Bush.

The vote makes Vermont's Democratic Party committee the fifth to do so, following New Mexico, Nevada, North Carolina and Wisconsin, party officials in Vermont said.

Now we all know that the "repuglican" congress will ignore this (for know) just like they've ignored every other act of treason, corruption, dishonesty, crime and stupidity thus far.

But the momentum is growing. Five states so far have come to their senses. That's 10% of the country. When the Democrats take back control of Congress in November perhaps we can end this reign of terror earlier than expected.







Saturday, April 08, 2006

Debate rages on use of cervical cancer vaccine

Debate rages on use of cervical cancer vaccine. While almost 100% effective, some contend use condones teen sex.

A new vaccine that protects against cervical cancer has set up a clash between health advocates who want to use the shots aggressively to prevent thousands of malignancies and "social conservatives" who say immunizing teen-agers could encourage sexual activity.

Groups working to reduce the toll of the cancer are eagerly awaiting the vaccine and want it to become part of the standard roster of shots that children, especially girls, receive just before puberty.

Because the vaccine protects against a sexually transmitted virus, many conservatives oppose making it mandatory, citing fears that it could send a subtle message condoning sexual activity before marriage. Several leading groups that promote abstinence are meeting this week to formulate official policies on the vaccine.

So here is a possible scenario:
"Hey Barbie, I heard that new girl in school got a vaccine to prevent cervical cancer"

"For sure, Tiffany. What a slut!"

The jockeying reflects the growing influence "social conservatives", who had long felt overlooked by Washington, have gained on a broad spectrum of policy issues under the Bush administration. In this case, a former member of the conservative group Focus on the Family serves on the federal panel that is playing a pivotal role in deciding how the vaccine is used.

What? Did I read that correctly? Focus on the Family? Do we really want to be governed by a group that wants to increase the number of unwed mothers, supports babies in dumpsters, tortures rape and incest victims, and denies loving relationships to gay couples?

"What the Bush administration has done has taken this coterie of people and put them into very influential positions in Washington," said James Morone Jr., a professor of political science at Brown University. "And it's having an effect in debates like this."

An Evening with Ann Coulter

This is a link to Al Franken's opening remarks during a debate with the Queen of the Black Death, Ann Coulter. It is a must-read.

The Nazi princess also had some wonderful and inciteful things to say:

"It was fascinating being here for the [immigration] demonstrations this weekend. I guess that's why I didn't get clean towels in my hotel room this morning."

"I haven't seen so many agitated Mexicans since the World Cup Soccer Games were in L.A."

For more hilarious Coulter hijinks...

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Testicles May Yield "Ethical" Stem Cells...

Men’s testicles may provide an “ethical” source of embryonic stem cells (ESCs), suggest new experiments in mice.

A team in Germany has successfully grown mouse ESC-like cells from spermatagonial stem cells which normally turn into sperm. The ESC-like cells can be grown into all tissues of the mouse body, suggesting that if the same could be done in men, it would provide patients with a source of tissue-matched cells for repairing any damaged organs or tissue.

So far, all existing colonies of human ESCs have been derived from surplus human embryos, leftover from infertility treatments. Because a human embryo is sacrificed in the process, many religious groups oppose such research, especially in the US where President George W. Bush has placed heavy restrictions on federal stem cell researchers.

This is not what I had in mind when I said we should "grow some balls" and oppose the religious right!

Friday, March 24, 2006

'Lord of the Rings' — the musical?

Now we have "The Lord of the Rings," the theatrical juggernaut that had its world premiere in Toronto flaunting its $23-million price tag.

Featuring such great songs as:

"What Kind of Troll am I?"

"Seiging in the Rain"

"Try to Dismember"

"Me and My Gollum"

"Consider Your Elf"

"Old Man Rivendell"

"Maim"

"Gimli a Kiss to Build a Dream On"

"Helm's Deep in the Heart of Texas"

"Fro-Do-Re-Mi"

"Paint Your Dragon"

"Shelobs Me"

"Don't Ents Me In"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree

Former first lady Barbara Bush donated an undisclosed amount of money to the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund with specific instructions that the money be spent with an educational software company owned by her son Neil.

Well, that's certainly a mouthful. Babs gets a tax break and little Neil gets the funds.

As Obi-Wan once said: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Neil Bush founded Austin-based Ignite Learning, which produces the COW program, in 1999. Information about the effectiveness of the program, through district-generated reports, was not readily available according to an Houston school spokeswoman.

Two years ago, the school district raised eyebrows when it expanded the program by relying heavily on private donations.

The deal raised conflict of interest concerns because Neil Bush and company officials helped solicit the donations for the HISD Foundation, a philanthropic group that raises money.

Last year, Neil Bush reportedly toured former Soviet Union countries promoting Ignite with Russian tycoon Boris Berezovsky. According to the Times of London, Berezovsky, a former Kremlin insider now living in Britain, is wanted on criminal charges in Moscow accusing him of seeking to stage a coup against President Vladimir Putin.

The Bush crime family is on a par with the Corleones or the Sopranos except that the Bush crime family lacks any ethical standards at all.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Fool on The Hill


Day after day, alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool.
And he never gives an answer .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way, his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make.
And he never seems to notice .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Radio Scan from the Night John Lennon Died - Dec. 8, 1980

Here's a dial scan of New York City's FM band from 25 years ago (mp3). It was recorded shortly after the news of John Lennon's murder broke. The recording was made by an unknown listener.

Very chilling for those of you who remember that sad night.

Monday, March 20, 2006

George Bush Finally Succeeds at Something - Destroying the Planet Earth

Sea ice in the Arctic has failed to re-form for the second consecutive winter, raising fears that global warming may have tipped the polar regions in to irreversible climate change far sooner than predicted.
Recent findings from Nasa show that the Arctic is starting to respond to global warming.
We have George Bush to thank for this development.
In 2005, Bush administration officials working behind the scenes have succeeded in weakening key sections of a proposal for joint action by the eight major industrialized nations to curb climate change.
Under U.S. pressure, negotiators agreed to delete language that would detail how rising temperatures are affecting the globe, set ambitious targets to cut carbon dioxide emissions, and set stricter environmental standards.
The administration's push to alter the G-8's plan on global warming marks its latest effort to edit scientific or policy documents to accord with its position that mandatory carbon dioxide cuts are unnecessary.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Majority of Americans Think Bush is "Incompetent", an "Idiot", and a "Liar"

Deep doubts about the Iraq war and pessimism about America's future have shattered public confidence in President George W. Bush and helped drive his approval ratings to their lowest level ever.

A new round of opinion polls found growing skepticism about Iraq and distrust of Bush. His image declined sharply, with one poll finding "incompetent" to be the most frequent description of his leadership.

Bush's approval rating dipped as low as 33 percent in one recent poll after a string of bad news for the White House, including uproars over a now-dead Arab port deal, a secret eavesdropping program, a series of ethics scandals involving high-profile Republicans and a bungled response to Hurricane Katrina.

A majority of Americans, 56 percent, believe Bush is "out of touch," the poll found. When asked for a one-word description of Bush, the most frequent response was "incompetent," followed by "idiot" and "liar."

This is great news. Could it be possible that the American people are finally seeing the truth? I am very guarded about this. I still have several friends I consider to be very intelligent that still support this moron.

Susan Sarandon to portray Cindy Sheehan in biopic movie

Cindy Sheehan is very busy these days. Actress Susan Sarandon is set to portray her in a biopic movie. I can't think of more inspired casting. The premiere spokeswoman for progressive thinkers portraying the premiere spokeswoman for peace. In addition, a crew will film Sheehan for a weekly reality series on the Sundance Channel. Her letters to President Bush inspired "Peace Mom," a one-woman monologue show in London. A memoir is due to her publisher April 1.

A year ago Cindy was a rather anonymous mom, shaken by the fact that her son has been killed by an ambush halfway across the globe. Six months later, when she pitched a tent outside President Bush's Texas ranch and demanded he explain the "noble cause" for which Casey was sacrificed, her plaintive cry seized the moment in America. By injecting aching humanity into the political debate, she catalyzed public opinion against the war.

Early during those muggy August days in Crawford -- when Bush balked at meeting with her and instead went biking, saying it was important that he "go on with my life" -- her credibility was at its peak. This is supported by the fact that conservative hack Ann Coulter wrote: "Call me old-fashioned, but a grief-stricken war mother shouldn't have her own full-time PR flack."

Saturday, March 18, 2006

What to Do if Your Eyeball Falls Out of Its Socket

What should you do if your eyeball comes out of your head?

Get it put back in, and soon. The longer you remain in this rare condition—known as globe luxation—the more strain you'll put on the blood vessels and nerves that connect your eye to the rest of your head. Your luxated globes will also be susceptible to corneal abrasions or inflammation, and the feeling of your eyelids clamped down behind them won't be pleasant.

You should be able to get your eye back in place without serious, long-term damage. (If the ocular muscles tear or if the optic nerve is severed, your outlook won't be as clear.) The treatment for globe luxation is pretty simple: Doctors apply some topical painkillers, hold back your lashes, and poke your eyeball into its socket by pressing on the white part with gloved fingers. (In some cases, they'll use a simple tool like a bent paperclip to shoehorn it back into place.) You might get antibiotics, lubricating drops, or steroids to follow up for a few days while your vision returns to normal.

If your eyeballs fall out of their sockets repeatedly, you might be a candidate for a lateral tarsorrhaphy—in which doctors sew up your eyelids part of the way to keep them from opening too wide. You could also learn the following technique for popping your eye back in yourself: First direct your gaze downward. Now pinch and pull your upper eyelid with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Lay a finger from your other hand on the top part of your luxated eyeball, taking care to press only on the insensitive white part. While you continue to hold your eyelid up, push your eyeball gently down and back at the same time until it's part of the way in. Then try to look upwards; if everything goes right your eyeball will rotate under the upper lid and back into its socket.

This has been a public service announcement.

For the women of South Dakota: an abortion manual

WOMEN OF SOUTH DAKOTA -- Maybe you're angry that your state thinks it knows better than you what to do with your body than you do. Maybe you're anxiously wondering where the nearest abortion clinic is, now that you will have to leave the state to get to one.

In the 1960s and early 1970s, when abortions were illegal in many places and expensive to get, an organization called Jane stepped up to the plate in the Chicago area. Jane initially hired an abortion doctor, but later they did the abortions themselves. They lost only one patient in 13,000 -- a lower death rate than that of giving live birth. The biggest obstacle was the fact that they thought of abortion as something only a doctor could do.

They were deceived -- much like you have probably been deceived. An abortion, especially for an early pregnancy, is a relatively easy procedure to perform. And now women of South Dakota is the time to learn how it is done. There is no reason you should be beholden to doctors -- especially in a state where doctors have been refusing to perform them, forcing the state's only abortion clinic to fly doctors in from elsewhere.

For under $2000, any person with the inclination to learn could create a fully functioning abortion setup allowing for both vacuum aspiration and dilation/curettage abortions. If you are careful and diligent, and have a good grasp of a woman's anatomy you will not put anyone's health or life in danger, even if you have not seen one of these procedures performed.

Women of South Dakota -- visit the link at the top of this post -- today.

Baby boomers prefer TV to sex: Canadian study

When it comes to sex and romance, aging Canadian baby boomers spend a lot more time watching television or surfing the net, according to a new study.

The survey by pollsters Ipsos Reid, commissioned by Pfizer Inc., the maker of Viagra, found that Canadians between the ages of 40 and 64 spend an average of 15 minutes a day on sex and romance, but can spend as much as five hours a day watching TV or surfing the Internet.

15 minutes of sex per day AND 5 hours per day watching TV and surfing the net?

And the downside is what?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Blind Faith's live debut heads to DVD

Short-lived supergroup Blind Faith's live debut will be chronicled on the DVD "London Hyde Park 1969," due April 10 in Europe and the following month in North America via Sanctuary.

I was one of the fortunate few who saw these guys live at Madison Square Garden in New York. The opening act was Delaney and Bonnie and Friends with Eric Clapton on tambourine. The year was 1969. They were one of the first to use a revolving circular stage. You could tell how primitive the technology was at the time because you could see the stage crew constantly untangling the cables.

But what about the music? Steve and Eric with incredible double guitar solos. Steve's great vocals and intense organ riffs. Even Rick Grech shines on the violin. And when do you see a standing ovation from 20,000 people for a 15 minute drum solo?

The DVD features renditions of all six tracks from the group's lone self-titled studio album, which had not even been released at the time of the show. Vintage performances from Spencer Davis Group, Traffic and Cream round out the package.

Blind Faith rose out of the ashes of Cream, when Baker and Eric Clapton united with ex-Spencer Davis and Traffic singer/keyboardist Steve Winwood and Family bassist Rick Grech.

After their live debut at Hyde Park, Blind Faith soldiered on for a U.S. tour of arenas, which was met with riots and clashes between fans and police on several occasions. The group quietly disbanded afterwards, with its members going on to other projects.

Despite the release of DVD, drummer Ginger Baker rules out any chance of a Blind Faith reunion. "Rick Grech died many years ago (in 1990)," he notes. "I just come out of retirement for short periods. I'm pretty much crippled with arthritis -- playing is a very painful experience for me."

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

Interior Secretary Gale Norton resigned Friday after five years of guiding the Bush administration's initiative to open government lands in the West to more oil and gas drilling, logging, grazing and commercial recreation.

Finally good riddance to bad rubbish finally means something. One thing that Gale Norton never did was rid this country of bad rubbish.

But many thanks are due to Gale:
Thanks for supporting deforestation for the lumber companies.

Thanks for allowing strip mining and blowing off the tops of mountains to increase coal profits and create toxic sludge which caused the deaths of innocent people.

Thanks for relaxing pollution standards for chemical companies.

Thanks for stripping federal protections of hundreds of protected animal species.

Thanks for supporting oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge.

Thanks for placing industrial cronies in key positions on your staff.

Thanks for the increase of snowmobiles in Yellowstone National Park.

Thanks for opening public lands to oil and gas mining.

Bye Gale

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

South Dakota, With State Average IQ of 90, Bans Most Abortions

South Dakota's governor signed a near-total ban on abortions in the state into law in what the governor called a ''direct frontal assault'' on the U.S. Supreme Court decision to legalize the practice 33 years ago.

South Dakota has a state average IQ of 90 and is ranked 45 out of 50 in national intelligence. An IQ range of 80-90 is classified as "dullness". You can draw your own conclusions.

The bill would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless the procedure was necessary to save the woman's life. It would make no exception for cases of rape or incest but such victims could get emergency contraception. Under the new law, doctors could get up to five years in prison for performing an illegal abortion.

The abortion bill earlier this month passed the House 50-18 and the Senate by 23-12. For the most part, republicans have dominated the Statehouse since the 1970s. What a surprise!

But Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse said the governor's decision to sign the bill is a victory for women. ''We finally have been heard,'' said Unruh. ''We are so excited. We're ordering lobster and having a party. We are thrilled.'' I guess it's ok to boil a lobster alive but not to scrape out a few non-living cells.

You gotta love this loon. Read more about her deceptive bullshit. By the way, it can cost you up to $1,500 to abstain from sex with Leslee. The donations form defaults to $100, gift certificates are $25 each, "Purity" rings sell for $329 plus books, brochures and audio tapes are also for sale at this non-profit organization.

But the news is not all bad:
1. We can round up the country's rapists and ship them off to South Dakota where they can take some pride in their work knowing their efforts will bear fruit, so to speak.

2. Fathers, brothers and mentally deficient cousins can move there with their wives... or sisters... or daughters... or whatever to create more genetic mayhem in peace.

3. Entrepreneurs will flock to South Dakota to open up a myriad of new businesses like garbage dumpsters, wire coat hangers, vacuum cleaners (Oreck vacuums can pick up a bowling ball!) and Krazy Glue.

4. The unlucky few who are forced to give birth can sell their babies on eBay or CraigsList.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

Spike Lee: "Condi, stop smoking that crack!"

Firebrand director Spike Lee has found an unlikely new target for his latest spray: the secretary of state.

Says Lee: "I dislike Condoleezza Rice more than [President] Bush. The thing about it is that she's gotten a free ride from black people."

Oh no, he didn't.

"People say, 'She's so successful' and 'Look at her position as a black woman.' She is a black woman who grew up in Birmingham, Ala., and said that she never experienced a day of racism in her life," Lee tells the April issue of Stuff magazine.

"Condi, stop smoking that crack!"

"I know you love your Ferragamo shoes, but come on. While people were drowning in New Orleans, she was going up and down Madison Ave. buying Ferragamo shoes. Then she went to see 'Spamalot.'"

You heard the man, Madame Secretary. Put down the crack pipe.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Crazy Mel Gibson's Oscar Moment

Mel Gibson will appear in a brief spot on this Sunday’s Oscar broadcast speaking another exotic tongue: Maya. That's the sole language of Apocalypto, the adventure epic set in Pre-Columbian Mexico that Gibson is currently shooting.

Could Mayan human sacrifices cause as much of a stir among the politically correct as the anti-semitism in Gibson's depiction of the crucifixion of Christ? "After what I experienced with The Passion," he says, "I frankly don’t give a flying fuck about much of what they think."

Gibson plans to use real Jews as human sacrifices. "I wanted to make it as close to reality as I could", said Gibson. His father, Hutton Gibson, is serving as Historical Consultant on the film.

His last film, The Passion of the Christ, was spoken entirely in the dead languages of Latin, Aramaic and Forked Tongue. More violent than Texas Chainsaw Massacre and featuring terrifying hook-nosed Jews, millions of religious parents dragged their young children to this film to literally teach them the "fear of Jesus". The catch line of the film was "just when you thought it was safe to go back in the church."

At least we won't be able to understand what this Nazi is saying. I intend to use Mel's time on air to prepare a kosher corned beef sandwich for myself.

Katherine Harris Caught Up in Bribery Scandal

U.S. republican Rep. Katherine Harris said Thursday she did not knowingly do anything wrong in her associations with a defense contractor who prosecutors say illegally funneled thousands of dollars to her campaign in 2004.

You remember Katherine Harris, don't you? She's the former Florida secretary of state (and chairperson of the Florida RNC -- no conflict there!) who helped fix the 2000 presidential election recount in favor of George Bush.

The donations were described in a plea agreement last Friday, when Mitchell Wade, the former president of MZM Inc., pleaded guilty to bribing U.S. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham in exchange for assistance in getting $150 million in Defense Department contracts for his company.

He also admitted making illegal campaign contributions in the names of MZM employees and their spouses to Harris and Rep. Virgil Goode, R-Va. Prosecutors said Harris got $32,000 from employees who were reimbursed by Wade. Harris said she recently donated the money to charity, and didn't know the donations would be reimbursed. Recently donated? Nice.

Wade has been cooperating with federal prosecutors in Washington and San Diego since last summer and is required to continue to do so as part of his plea agreement with the government. He faces up to 20 years in prison. Prosecutors said they are continuing to investigate and won't say if Harris is a subject.

"I think these revelations should matter to voters because I think ethics should count for something in a public servant," said Dan McLaughlin, spokesman for U.S. Senator Bill Nelson, D-Florida.

Randy Cunningham in prison and Katherine Harris headed that way -- it's good to be alive.

Sentenced to 8 Years - No Special Treatment Expected for Cunningham

Former republican Representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham was sentenced in federal court to eight years and four months in prison for taking $2.4 million in bribes from military contractors in return for smoothing the way for government contracts.

He may have once been counted among the leaders of the land, and he may have once been acclaimed as a war hero, but when he arrives at prison, Randy Cunningham will be just another prisoner, one of about 190,000 inmates now in the federal prison system.

Regardless of the lofty status he once held, Cunningham won't be granted any extraordinary considerations, according to Sandra Hijar, spokeswoman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons. Of course, his eight year sentence is already substantially less than most pot smokers get but I guess that doesn't count.

What Cunningham will experience during his initial weeks is an orientation in which he is evaluated and introduced to the prison's rules and regulations, its program offerings and issued a handbook.

But first will come one of the harsh realities of prison ---- chief among them being a strip search including an examination of his body cavities. He will be told to remove any items in his pockets and to strip and then undergo the body search.

And why not? He's been sticking his dirty fist up the American people's ass for years. I hope they don't use any lubricant.

Once that is completed and he is issued prison garb, Cunningham must dress in front of the staff.

He will be required to take part in a "social interview" to determine if there are any nonmedical reasons he should not be housed with the prison's general population. Let's hope for genpop and he get's a 300 pound black man named Bubba for a cellmate --- and he loves older white men.

Federal prison inmates start jobs earning 12 cents an hour and can work their way up to 40 cents per hour. Hey, here's a novel idea -- why doesn't Randy stay in prison working at these wages until the entire $2.4 million is paid off?

But this has been a bad day for the dark side of the force -- and that's a good thing.