BEGINNERS & SENIORS GUIDE TO COMPUTERS

Wisconsin native Gary Olson is a 52-year-old grandfather, a retired U.S. Army veteran - and soon to be a soldier again, thanks to the need for troops in Iraq. Olson was ordered to report for duty Dec. 4 in Fort Jackson, S.C. Sally Olson, his wife of 33 years, said that she was shocked by the orders and figured the chances of it happening were slim when he took early retirement more than a decade ago. "Why don't they just go to the draft if they are getting this desperate for people?" she asked. "In a couple of months, he will be 53." Sally Olson said she disagrees with President Bush that the war in Iraq was justified. You got it Sally! So does 67% of the nation. The Army told Olson, a sergeant first class mechanic when he retired, to prepare for 18 months away from home after he passes his physical. Maj. Elizabeth Robbins, an Army spokeswoman at the Pentagon, said since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the military has called to duty about 6,50...

If it's a spruce tree adorned with 10,000 lights and 5,000 ornaments displayed on the Capitol grounds in December, it's a Christmas tree and that's what it should be called, says House Speaker Dennis Hastert. His office said the tree began to be referred to as the Holiday Tree in the 1990s. Spokesman Ron Bonjean said the reasons were unclear. The reasons were unclear? How much longer will the separation of church and state remain unclear to the republicans? If they want to call it a Christmas tree just make sure it shares equal billing with Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and every other religion practiced in our great country. Otherwise it's just a tree wasting electricity. Jerry Falwell, one of this nation's great thinkers, responded to the Washington Times with his usual level of wisdom: "The new name drew the ire of Christians and evangelical leader the Rev. Jerry Falwell, whose law group the Liberty Counsel threatened to sue if the tree wasn't rechristened ...

On the 30th anniversary of the release of Bruce Springsteen's " Born to Run" album, Senators Jon Corzine and Frank Lautenberg, both New Jersey Democrats, proposed a resolution congratulating Bruce on his contribution to American culture. It's the sort of thing that normally sails through Congress but the resolution was shot down by the Senate republicans, obviously because of the support Springsteen lent John Kerry last year. A childish, petty reaction typical of republicans. Now, as Corzine mulls over possible replacements for his Senate seat after being elected governor of New Jersey earlier this month, there is a push among his constituents for him to name--who else?--The Boss. Why not? Bruce is at least as qualified as anyone else. He was born in the USA on the backstreets of the edge of town. He believes in better days, glory days, dancing in the dark, the land of hope and dreams, and the promised land. New Jersey is his home. He has a pink cadillac and a T...

Republican Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham of California pleaded guilty today to conspiracy and tax charges and tearfully resigned from office, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes to steer defense contracts to conspirators (probably to Cheney/Haliburton). Cunningham, 63, entered pleas in U.S. District Court to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud and wire fraud, and tax evasion for underreporting his income in 2004. One more fat republican down. It's only a matter of time before we wrest control of our country from these people who care nothing for its citizens.. CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Rush Limbaugh has reached a new low in shameless profiteering by taking advantage of our brave troops in Iraq. He has just introduced his "24/7 Adopt-a-Soldier Program" . Sponsors may send a subscription to the Limbaugh newsletter at a discounted price of $49.99 each to as many soldiers as they wish. This also gives the troops access to online content at Rush's website. Let's do some calculations. If only 5% of this moron's 3 million deluded listeners fall for this scam that would be 150,000 subscriptions. At $50 each, Rush stands to pocket $7,500,000. Since there really is no additional cost to adding more users of online content, the only real cost is the paper and the postage of the newsletter. Obviously, the pill-popper stands to realize a huge profit. This is good news only for Rush's OxyContin suppliers and sets a bad example for "dittoheads" . Rushlimbaughonline.com summarizes this disgraceful action as follows: "To any sensible person,...

A course being offered next semester by the University of Kansas Religious Studies department is titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies." At least the Iroquios Creation Theory that the earth was created on the back of a giant turtle is still considered science. CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

For John Dillinger In hope he is still alive Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986 Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison — thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger — thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot — thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes — thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through — thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces — thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers — thanks for laboratory AIDS — thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs — thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business — thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a h...

On Monday, November 7, 2005, I went to my weekly session of the Filmmakers Symposium. Here we get to screen diverse films before they open and then speak to a guest associated with its production. I saw a film that I will not soon forget..."Sophie Scholl - Die Ietzten Tage (The Final Days)". There have already been two films about Sophie Scholl but neither had access to the lost documentation of her last five days alive. Sophie Scholl (1921 – 1943) was a member of the White Rose resistance movement in Nazi Germany. She was convicted of treason and executed by guillotine. At the age of twelve, she joined the Hitler Youth. Her initial enthusiasm gradually gave way to criticism. She was aware of the dissenting political views of her father, of friends, and also of some teachers. An avid reader, she developed a growing interest in philosophy and theology. This was her alternative world to National Socialism. In 1942 she enrolled at the University of Munich as a student of biolog...

In 1999, Kansas shocked the world by stripping its curriculum standards of any mention of evolution, a move reversed in 2001 after voters ousted several conservative members of the education board. I thought that was sad then but Kansas ( 28th dumbest state ) has taken another drink from the stupid fountain. The Kansas Board of Education(?) voted to adopt new science standards challenging Darwin's theory of evolution in the classroom. The standards recommend that schools teach specific views that doubters of evolution use to undermine its importance in science education. The most controversial change was a redefinition of science itself , so that it would not be explicitly limited to natural explanations. That makes perfect sense because these religious zealots cannot deliver "intelligent" design as real science unless they redefine science itself. Now children in Kansas can learn the truth about creation. Little green men visited Earth millions of years ago, dropped a...

Purveyors of porn in response to the new video-playing iPod are proving that sex even sells in tiny packages especially when it is portable. One online network of pinup girls said it logged 500,000 downloads of the sexy three to five minute video clips in the first 24 hours targeting the new iPod-toting crowd. It's a no-brainer: pornography to go. Soon enough, skin flicks whose viewing has been largely restricted to the privacy of homes and theaters could be on view in the open public of parks and mass transit, for all ages to see. Sin City, based in Chatsworth, Calif., already offers trailers of full-length adult films for the Sony PlayStation Portable, a handheld video game player. It now plans full-length adult films for the video iPod. CLASSIFICATION: YOUR CALL

"Voters should be required to take an IQ test. The IQ score of the voter would register along with his or her vote. The candidate who got the highest total of IQ scores would be the winner." What a fantastic idea! According to IQ and Politics , John Kerry would have won by a landslide. 31 of the 34 dumbest states were Bush states (Texas came in at #40). The 16 states with the highest IQs were Kerry states. This makes pefect sense. Bush's approval rating went from 90 in July 2001 to 37 in November 2005. In other words, it took the Bush states 4 years to figure out what the Kerry states already knew -- that Bush is a disaster as a president . I told everyone that Bush was a loser in 2000. But hey, I'm from New Jersey (third highest IQ). CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Samuel Alito has been a judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals since his appointment by the first President Bush in 1990. So far he has compiled an extreme right-wing record - a record that has earned him the nickname "Scalito" for his ideological resemblance to Justice Antonin Scalia. Alito's opinions demonstrate that he is an opponent of many legal rights for all Americans and must not be confirmed to the Supreme Court. Check it out: Hostile to basic reproductive privacy rights Alito wants government to be able to interfere in personal decisions on reproductive rights. Alito was in favor of a law requiring a woman to notify her husband before obtaining an abortion. "Yes, dear...it's your body. You just have to tell me what you do with it." Rejects basic protections for workers Alito has taken positions that would have made it more difficult for victims of race and sex discrimination to prove their claims. Leads revolution against federal laws protecti...

ONE of the greatest murder mysteries of all time - the identity of Jack the Ripper - may soon be revealed by DNA technology developed in Australia. Scientist Ian Findlay will use the new test on saliva the notorious serial killer would have left behind if he licked the stamps on the envelopes of letters he sent to London police. Prof. Findlay's method, called Cell Track-ID, is able to extract and compile a DNA fingerprint from a single cell or strand of hair up to 160 years old. Hair believed to be from Catherine Eddowes – one of at least five prostitutes Jack the Ripper is known to have butchered in London's East End during his reign of terror in 1888 – will also be tested. Prof Findlay, based at Queensland's Griffith University, said if DNA was found intact on the stamps, it could be compared to DNA from the descendants of suspects. "There were 600 letters sent to police claiming 'I am Jack the Ripper' and while most of theses are hoaxes, some are thought ...