BEGINNERS & SENIORS GUIDE TO COMPUTERS

It used to be that the holiday-season ritual of talking to Santa most always meant a trip to the mall. But parents are now turning increasingly to commercial services that provide phone calls from a Santa who knows not only what is on the child's wish list but also the names of siblings, friends and teachers, favorite vacation spots and what was under the tree last year. It only costs about $10 for each phone call. Why don't we all have Santa call the White House to tell little Georgie that he's on the naughty list? It might sound something like this: "Hello? Is little Georgie Bush there? Oh, hi Georgie. This is Santa. No, this is not Karl Rove doing a phony phone call. I'd like to talk to you about your behavior this past year. You haven't been a very good boy, have you?" "For one thing, you don't play well with others, do you? There's that whole illegal war thing in that desert place. Why did you pick on those innocent people? You ...

A Circuit Court judge has been accused of having pornographic images on his work computer and using improper conduct toward two female lawyers. Brandt Downey, 60, habitually viewed pornography on his court-issued computer and had inappropriate contact and communications with female attorneys, the state Judicial Qualifications Commission said Tuesday. I bet he's naked under that robe. I wonder if any of the ladies walked in on him while he was "pounding his gavel".

HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - "Intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district, a federal judge said Tuesday, ruling in one of the biggest courtroom clashes on evolution since the 1925 Scopes trial. Dover Area School Board members violated the Constitution when they ordered that its biology curriculum must include the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III said. Several members repeatedly lied to cover their motives even while professing religious beliefs, he said. Said the judge: "It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy." Text of the school's statement Text of the statement on "intelligent design" that Dover Area High School administrators have been r...

It's 1985. I'm driving home from my new job at 5:00 pm. While surfing down the dial I land on 92.3 FM K-Rock from New York City. Little did I know this was the beginning of a 20 year relationship with a nutty, neurotic and hilarious character named Howard Stern. My sense of humor has always been known to be off the wall and less than appropriate. Now I hear this guy saying everything I think is truly funny for four hours a day. Howard quickly moved to morning drive time and I looked forward to the daily commute and put a radio in my office so I could hear the entire show. Six years later, I came down with a life threatening illness where I was confined to a hospital bed for almost two months. It seriously affected my ability to walk, talk or feed myself. My wonderful wife-to-be asked if I needed anything. Without hesitation, I muttered "walkman". For four hours a day, Howard Stern took me away from my hospital bed and transported me to a wild world of wacky...

The cost of the "war" in Iraq will soon reach $500,000,000,000 (500 billion). George Bush thinks this is money well spent. He deemed it necessary to invade a sovereign nation that is proven to have no weopons of mass destruction, no ties to Osama Bin Laden, and no history of terrorism against us or anyone else. All Iraq does have is what Mr. Bush is really after - oil. But since Mr. Bush can't think.........of anything better to spend the money on, let's see if we can provide him with some ideas. Not too many though, we all know how confused he can get. $500 billion can provide: Salaries for 50,000 Head Start teachers for 232 years. Fund Meals on Wheels for 8,000,000 of our elderly for 35 years. $500 worth of clothes for 2,000,000 homeless people for the next 500 years. $5,000 worth of health care for 10,000,000 people for 10 years. Then there's the reinstatement of all the money George Bush has stolen from programs that deal with the environment, job programs...

The former Sept. 11 Commission accused George Bush of failing to protect the country against another attack. The panel cited poor airplane passenger screening methods, pork-barrel security funding and other problems due to the Bush administration not moving quickly enough to enact the majority of its recommendations of July 2004. Rather than disbanding like most federally appointed commissions when their terms expire, Committee Chairman Thomas Kean and the other nine commissioners continued their work as a private entity called the 9/11 Public Discourse Project. Wrapping up more than three years of investigations and hearings, the former commission issued what members said was their final assessment of the government's counterterror performance as a report card. It gave failing grades in five areas , and issued only one "A" — actually an A-minus — for the Bush administration's efforts to curb terrorist financing. A case in point - Mr. Bush's crack team placed a m...

Richard Pryor (1940-2005) I remember the first time I saw Richard Pryor. It was on the Merv Griffin Show in the 1960s. At the time, Bill Cosby was the funniest comedian around and this new guy was a very funny approximation of Cos. But you couldn't see the same conviction in the material. Flash forward to 1974. I'm in grad school and one of my roomates, Morris, a six foot three soft spoken black man going for his Masters Degree in Labor Relations, brings home this record for us to hear. It was "That Nigger's Crazy" by Richard Pryor. I had never heard anything like that before. We laughed so hard we almost threw up. After it was over, several questions came to me. Is it acceptable for a white man to laugh so hard at black humor? Would it be any funnier if I was black? In my opinion, there are only three comedians that are not only extremely funny but were brave enough to challenge the status quo and bring humor to the level that presently we all take for...

I posted this at the exact date and time John Lennon was shot and killed by Mark David Chapman. Being a child of the 60s, I experienced the life and death of many musical legends - Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Jones, Moon, Bonham - they touched me for a time and then I moved on. So why is it so different when I think of John Lennon? Why can I still listen to Jimi and Janis without a tear at my heart? It is impossible for me to hear a Lennon song or look at a photograph of John or watch "A Hard Day's Night" or "Help" without a chill, a lump, a tear. Anyone who can listen to "Imagine" without some kind of an emotional response must either have a heart of stone or be a republican. (I guess "republican" is redundant in this case). I think of how much more Bob Geldof and Bono could have accomplished with one of the greatest political activists of our time at their side. I know that John would have spoken to today's youth with the same conv...

Wisconsin native Gary Olson is a 52-year-old grandfather, a retired U.S. Army veteran - and soon to be a soldier again, thanks to the need for troops in Iraq. Olson was ordered to report for duty Dec. 4 in Fort Jackson, S.C. Sally Olson, his wife of 33 years, said that she was shocked by the orders and figured the chances of it happening were slim when he took early retirement more than a decade ago. "Why don't they just go to the draft if they are getting this desperate for people?" she asked. "In a couple of months, he will be 53." Sally Olson said she disagrees with President Bush that the war in Iraq was justified. You got it Sally! So does 67% of the nation. The Army told Olson, a sergeant first class mechanic when he retired, to prepare for 18 months away from home after he passes his physical. Maj. Elizabeth Robbins, an Army spokeswoman at the Pentagon, said since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the military has called to duty about 6,50...

If it's a spruce tree adorned with 10,000 lights and 5,000 ornaments displayed on the Capitol grounds in December, it's a Christmas tree and that's what it should be called, says House Speaker Dennis Hastert. His office said the tree began to be referred to as the Holiday Tree in the 1990s. Spokesman Ron Bonjean said the reasons were unclear. The reasons were unclear? How much longer will the separation of church and state remain unclear to the republicans? If they want to call it a Christmas tree just make sure it shares equal billing with Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and every other religion practiced in our great country. Otherwise it's just a tree wasting electricity. Jerry Falwell, one of this nation's great thinkers, responded to the Washington Times with his usual level of wisdom: "The new name drew the ire of Christians and evangelical leader the Rev. Jerry Falwell, whose law group the Liberty Counsel threatened to sue if the tree wasn't rechristened ...

On the 30th anniversary of the release of Bruce Springsteen's " Born to Run" album, Senators Jon Corzine and Frank Lautenberg, both New Jersey Democrats, proposed a resolution congratulating Bruce on his contribution to American culture. It's the sort of thing that normally sails through Congress but the resolution was shot down by the Senate republicans, obviously because of the support Springsteen lent John Kerry last year. A childish, petty reaction typical of republicans. Now, as Corzine mulls over possible replacements for his Senate seat after being elected governor of New Jersey earlier this month, there is a push among his constituents for him to name--who else?--The Boss. Why not? Bruce is at least as qualified as anyone else. He was born in the USA on the backstreets of the edge of town. He believes in better days, glory days, dancing in the dark, the land of hope and dreams, and the promised land. New Jersey is his home. He has a pink cadillac and a T...

Republican Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham of California pleaded guilty today to conspiracy and tax charges and tearfully resigned from office, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes to steer defense contracts to conspirators (probably to Cheney/Haliburton). Cunningham, 63, entered pleas in U.S. District Court to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud and wire fraud, and tax evasion for underreporting his income in 2004. One more fat republican down. It's only a matter of time before we wrest control of our country from these people who care nothing for its citizens.. CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Rush Limbaugh has reached a new low in shameless profiteering by taking advantage of our brave troops in Iraq. He has just introduced his "24/7 Adopt-a-Soldier Program" . Sponsors may send a subscription to the Limbaugh newsletter at a discounted price of $49.99 each to as many soldiers as they wish. This also gives the troops access to online content at Rush's website. Let's do some calculations. If only 5% of this moron's 3 million deluded listeners fall for this scam that would be 150,000 subscriptions. At $50 each, Rush stands to pocket $7,500,000. Since there really is no additional cost to adding more users of online content, the only real cost is the paper and the postage of the newsletter. Obviously, the pill-popper stands to realize a huge profit. This is good news only for Rush's OxyContin suppliers and sets a bad example for "dittoheads" . Rushlimbaughonline.com summarizes this disgraceful action as follows: "To any sensible person,...

A course being offered next semester by the University of Kansas Religious Studies department is titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies." At least the Iroquios Creation Theory that the earth was created on the back of a giant turtle is still considered science. CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

For John Dillinger In hope he is still alive Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986 Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison — thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger — thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot — thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes — thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through — thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces — thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers — thanks for laboratory AIDS — thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs — thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business — thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a h...

On Monday, November 7, 2005, I went to my weekly session of the Filmmakers Symposium. Here we get to screen diverse films before they open and then speak to a guest associated with its production. I saw a film that I will not soon forget..."Sophie Scholl - Die Ietzten Tage (The Final Days)". There have already been two films about Sophie Scholl but neither had access to the lost documentation of her last five days alive. Sophie Scholl (1921 – 1943) was a member of the White Rose resistance movement in Nazi Germany. She was convicted of treason and executed by guillotine. At the age of twelve, she joined the Hitler Youth. Her initial enthusiasm gradually gave way to criticism. She was aware of the dissenting political views of her father, of friends, and also of some teachers. An avid reader, she developed a growing interest in philosophy and theology. This was her alternative world to National Socialism. In 1942 she enrolled at the University of Munich as a student of biolog...

In 1999, Kansas shocked the world by stripping its curriculum standards of any mention of evolution, a move reversed in 2001 after voters ousted several conservative members of the education board. I thought that was sad then but Kansas ( 28th dumbest state ) has taken another drink from the stupid fountain. The Kansas Board of Education(?) voted to adopt new science standards challenging Darwin's theory of evolution in the classroom. The standards recommend that schools teach specific views that doubters of evolution use to undermine its importance in science education. The most controversial change was a redefinition of science itself , so that it would not be explicitly limited to natural explanations. That makes perfect sense because these religious zealots cannot deliver "intelligent" design as real science unless they redefine science itself. Now children in Kansas can learn the truth about creation. Little green men visited Earth millions of years ago, dropped a...

Purveyors of porn in response to the new video-playing iPod are proving that sex even sells in tiny packages especially when it is portable. One online network of pinup girls said it logged 500,000 downloads of the sexy three to five minute video clips in the first 24 hours targeting the new iPod-toting crowd. It's a no-brainer: pornography to go. Soon enough, skin flicks whose viewing has been largely restricted to the privacy of homes and theaters could be on view in the open public of parks and mass transit, for all ages to see. Sin City, based in Chatsworth, Calif., already offers trailers of full-length adult films for the Sony PlayStation Portable, a handheld video game player. It now plans full-length adult films for the video iPod. CLASSIFICATION: YOUR CALL

"Voters should be required to take an IQ test. The IQ score of the voter would register along with his or her vote. The candidate who got the highest total of IQ scores would be the winner." What a fantastic idea! According to IQ and Politics , John Kerry would have won by a landslide. 31 of the 34 dumbest states were Bush states (Texas came in at #40). The 16 states with the highest IQs were Kerry states. This makes pefect sense. Bush's approval rating went from 90 in July 2001 to 37 in November 2005. In other words, it took the Bush states 4 years to figure out what the Kerry states already knew -- that Bush is a disaster as a president . I told everyone that Bush was a loser in 2000. But hey, I'm from New Jersey (third highest IQ). CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Samuel Alito has been a judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals since his appointment by the first President Bush in 1990. So far he has compiled an extreme right-wing record - a record that has earned him the nickname "Scalito" for his ideological resemblance to Justice Antonin Scalia. Alito's opinions demonstrate that he is an opponent of many legal rights for all Americans and must not be confirmed to the Supreme Court. Check it out: Hostile to basic reproductive privacy rights Alito wants government to be able to interfere in personal decisions on reproductive rights. Alito was in favor of a law requiring a woman to notify her husband before obtaining an abortion. "Yes, dear...it's your body. You just have to tell me what you do with it." Rejects basic protections for workers Alito has taken positions that would have made it more difficult for victims of race and sex discrimination to prove their claims. Leads revolution against federal laws protecti...

ONE of the greatest murder mysteries of all time - the identity of Jack the Ripper - may soon be revealed by DNA technology developed in Australia. Scientist Ian Findlay will use the new test on saliva the notorious serial killer would have left behind if he licked the stamps on the envelopes of letters he sent to London police. Prof. Findlay's method, called Cell Track-ID, is able to extract and compile a DNA fingerprint from a single cell or strand of hair up to 160 years old. Hair believed to be from Catherine Eddowes – one of at least five prostitutes Jack the Ripper is known to have butchered in London's East End during his reign of terror in 1888 – will also be tested. Prof Findlay, based at Queensland's Griffith University, said if DNA was found intact on the stamps, it could be compared to DNA from the descendants of suspects. "There were 600 letters sent to police claiming 'I am Jack the Ripper' and while most of theses are hoaxes, some are thought ...

George Takei, who starred as Hikaru Sulu on STAR TREK for three TV seasons and six movies, has come out as a homosexual in the current issue of Frontiers, a Los Angeles magazine covering the gay and lesbian community. Mr. Takei, who is 68, has been with his current partner for 18 years. That's more than most straight marriages last. He lived in a Japanese internment camp with his family from age 4 to 8. Yes, that was legal back then. But our government, in lieu of an apology, has made same sex marriage a crime. Sorry, George...you can't win for losing. Perhaps when the religious wrong loses their grip on our country you might have a hope to ... "cling on" . Photon torpedos away! CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Vice President Dick Cheney's chief scapegoat, Scooter Libby, was indicted yesterday for obstruction of justice, perjury and lying. Having no remaining tools republicans normally use to run the country, Scooter immediately resigned his post as Cheney's Chief of Staff. That's one down and three to go. Federal prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald did not indict on the issue that prompted the investigation. Who in the government leaked the classified C.I.A. identity of the wife of Joseph Wilson, one of the biggest critics of the administration's rationale for war with Iraq? Since the prosecutor believes that Scooter wasn't the source of the link but did believe that he covered up the identity of the guilty party then it is obvious the act of treason was committed by either George Bush, Dick Cheney or Karl Rove. If I were Scooter Libby right now I would be extremely nervous. Imagine being sent to prison with a name like "Scooter". CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Here are two frightening stories for Halloween. Unfortunately, they're both true. Newton, Massachusetts - When students at Underwood Elementary School walk in to their classrooms on October 31st, there will be no witches, SpongeBob SquarePants, skeleton paintings or Frankenstein tattoos to greet them. The school's principal said yesterday he acceded to the complaints of a handful of parents who said that because the school's traditional Halloween celebrations offended their religious beliefs , they would not send their children to school if the revelry continued this year. He canceled Halloween! What if: Wiccans protested Christmas? The Ku Klux Klan protested Kwanzaa? Nazis protested Yom Kippur? Loggers protested Arbor Day? Native Americans protested Thanksgiving? The unemployed protested Labor Day? African Americans protested White Sales? Norman Bates protested Mother's Day? Conscientious Objectors protested Veterans Day? Ted Nugent protested Vegan Day? (ok, I made...

Dr.(?) Bill Maier was a guest on a recent radio talk show I was listening to while driving home from work. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. His latest book is all about the "evils" of same sex marriage. He offered up statistics of several states such as Oregon, a liberal state where 67% of the population were against the legalization of same sex unions. More such statistics were offered over the course of the interview. Finally, the interviewer asked him if the statistics were reversed and the majority of people supported same sex marriage, would he then change his position. "Definitely not" he replied. "They would all be wrong!" It's no wonder that Dr.(?) Maier is James Dobson's partner-in-crime at Focus on the Family. In addition Dr.(?) Maier went on to express his view that homosexuality is not something you're born with but rather something that you learn and there is no evidence that exists to support the former theory. I'm ...

Rosa Parks, who helped trigger the civil rights movement in the 1950s, died Monday, her longtime friends told CNN. She was 92. She was the person who started it all. Thirty years ago, a somewhat larger group of college students (basically...kids) protested and put an end to an immoral and illegal war. A war not unlike the one we have at present. Where are the kids in America now? CLASSIFICATION: GOOD read more | digg story

Crazy Captions: "I guess you'd spread it on the Dark Side of your toast." "I can't believe it's not Yoda!" "1000 pounds? That's half a Ton-Ton!" "The next sculpture should be 'Lard of the Rings'". "or 'The Count of Monte Crisco'". Send me more captions and I'll post the best. CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

As I promised, all is not lost.        GOOD Adoption Al Franken Al Gore Andrew Sullivan Barack Obama Bill Clinton Bill Maher Bittorrent Bob Geldof Bono Christie Todd Whitman Coast to Coast AM Democrats digg.com dilbert Eleanor Clift Embryonic stem cell research Evolution in the classroom Firefox Gay Marriage George Carlin Google Hillary Clinton Howard Stern Huffington Post Janeane Garofalo Joe Frank John Edwards John Kerry Jon Anderson ...

This is the first post of many to this blog. All variety of topics will be covered here. Some funny, some sad, some frightening but all illuminating in one way or another. The underlying theme is simple. There is good and there is evil and we need to know the difference. Please feel free to comment. Let's begin with a basic list of what is already known to be evil. The next post will cover what is good. The lists will be constantly evolving and input from readers is welcome. The only caveat is that any people on these lists must still be alive (excluding George Bush). The dead are already too set in their ways. EVIL George W. Bush Osama Bin Laden Saddam Hussein George H.W. Bush Dick Cheney James Baker Karl Rove Condoleeza Rice The Carlyle Group Republicans Religious Right Pat Robertson James Dobson Oral Roberts Tom DeLay Ken Lay Michael Brown Ann Coulter Sean Hannity Rush Limbaugh Dr. Bill Frist Laura Ingram Fox News Dr. Phil Dr. Laura Michael Savage Mark...