Friday, March 24, 2006

'Lord of the Rings' — the musical?

Now we have "The Lord of the Rings," the theatrical juggernaut that had its world premiere in Toronto flaunting its $23-million price tag.

Featuring such great songs as:

"What Kind of Troll am I?"

"Seiging in the Rain"

"Try to Dismember"

"Me and My Gollum"

"Consider Your Elf"

"Old Man Rivendell"


"Gimli a Kiss to Build a Dream On"

"Helm's Deep in the Heart of Texas"


"Paint Your Dragon"

"Shelobs Me"

"Don't Ents Me In"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree

Former first lady Barbara Bush donated an undisclosed amount of money to the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund with specific instructions that the money be spent with an educational software company owned by her son Neil.

Well, that's certainly a mouthful. Babs gets a tax break and little Neil gets the funds.

As Obi-Wan once said: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Neil Bush founded Austin-based Ignite Learning, which produces the COW program, in 1999. Information about the effectiveness of the program, through district-generated reports, was not readily available according to an Houston school spokeswoman.

Two years ago, the school district raised eyebrows when it expanded the program by relying heavily on private donations.

The deal raised conflict of interest concerns because Neil Bush and company officials helped solicit the donations for the HISD Foundation, a philanthropic group that raises money.

Last year, Neil Bush reportedly toured former Soviet Union countries promoting Ignite with Russian tycoon Boris Berezovsky. According to the Times of London, Berezovsky, a former Kremlin insider now living in Britain, is wanted on criminal charges in Moscow accusing him of seeking to stage a coup against President Vladimir Putin.

The Bush crime family is on a par with the Corleones or the Sopranos except that the Bush crime family lacks any ethical standards at all.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Fool on The Hill

Day after day, alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool.
And he never gives an answer .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way, his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make.
And he never seems to notice .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Radio Scan from the Night John Lennon Died - Dec. 8, 1980

Here's a dial scan of New York City's FM band from 25 years ago (mp3). It was recorded shortly after the news of John Lennon's murder broke. The recording was made by an unknown listener.

Very chilling for those of you who remember that sad night.

Monday, March 20, 2006

George Bush Finally Succeeds at Something - Destroying the Planet Earth

Sea ice in the Arctic has failed to re-form for the second consecutive winter, raising fears that global warming may have tipped the polar regions in to irreversible climate change far sooner than predicted.
Recent findings from Nasa show that the Arctic is starting to respond to global warming.
We have George Bush to thank for this development.
In 2005, Bush administration officials working behind the scenes have succeeded in weakening key sections of a proposal for joint action by the eight major industrialized nations to curb climate change.
Under U.S. pressure, negotiators agreed to delete language that would detail how rising temperatures are affecting the globe, set ambitious targets to cut carbon dioxide emissions, and set stricter environmental standards.
The administration's push to alter the G-8's plan on global warming marks its latest effort to edit scientific or policy documents to accord with its position that mandatory carbon dioxide cuts are unnecessary.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Majority of Americans Think Bush is "Incompetent", an "Idiot", and a "Liar"

Deep doubts about the Iraq war and pessimism about America's future have shattered public confidence in President George W. Bush and helped drive his approval ratings to their lowest level ever.

A new round of opinion polls found growing skepticism about Iraq and distrust of Bush. His image declined sharply, with one poll finding "incompetent" to be the most frequent description of his leadership.

Bush's approval rating dipped as low as 33 percent in one recent poll after a string of bad news for the White House, including uproars over a now-dead Arab port deal, a secret eavesdropping program, a series of ethics scandals involving high-profile Republicans and a bungled response to Hurricane Katrina.

A majority of Americans, 56 percent, believe Bush is "out of touch," the poll found. When asked for a one-word description of Bush, the most frequent response was "incompetent," followed by "idiot" and "liar."

This is great news. Could it be possible that the American people are finally seeing the truth? I am very guarded about this. I still have several friends I consider to be very intelligent that still support this moron.

Susan Sarandon to portray Cindy Sheehan in biopic movie

Cindy Sheehan is very busy these days. Actress Susan Sarandon is set to portray her in a biopic movie. I can't think of more inspired casting. The premiere spokeswoman for progressive thinkers portraying the premiere spokeswoman for peace. In addition, a crew will film Sheehan for a weekly reality series on the Sundance Channel. Her letters to President Bush inspired "Peace Mom," a one-woman monologue show in London. A memoir is due to her publisher April 1.

A year ago Cindy was a rather anonymous mom, shaken by the fact that her son has been killed by an ambush halfway across the globe. Six months later, when she pitched a tent outside President Bush's Texas ranch and demanded he explain the "noble cause" for which Casey was sacrificed, her plaintive cry seized the moment in America. By injecting aching humanity into the political debate, she catalyzed public opinion against the war.

Early during those muggy August days in Crawford -- when Bush balked at meeting with her and instead went biking, saying it was important that he "go on with my life" -- her credibility was at its peak. This is supported by the fact that conservative hack Ann Coulter wrote: "Call me old-fashioned, but a grief-stricken war mother shouldn't have her own full-time PR flack."

Saturday, March 18, 2006

What to Do if Your Eyeball Falls Out of Its Socket

What should you do if your eyeball comes out of your head?

Get it put back in, and soon. The longer you remain in this rare condition—known as globe luxation—the more strain you'll put on the blood vessels and nerves that connect your eye to the rest of your head. Your luxated globes will also be susceptible to corneal abrasions or inflammation, and the feeling of your eyelids clamped down behind them won't be pleasant.

You should be able to get your eye back in place without serious, long-term damage. (If the ocular muscles tear or if the optic nerve is severed, your outlook won't be as clear.) The treatment for globe luxation is pretty simple: Doctors apply some topical painkillers, hold back your lashes, and poke your eyeball into its socket by pressing on the white part with gloved fingers. (In some cases, they'll use a simple tool like a bent paperclip to shoehorn it back into place.) You might get antibiotics, lubricating drops, or steroids to follow up for a few days while your vision returns to normal.

If your eyeballs fall out of their sockets repeatedly, you might be a candidate for a lateral tarsorrhaphy—in which doctors sew up your eyelids part of the way to keep them from opening too wide. You could also learn the following technique for popping your eye back in yourself: First direct your gaze downward. Now pinch and pull your upper eyelid with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Lay a finger from your other hand on the top part of your luxated eyeball, taking care to press only on the insensitive white part. While you continue to hold your eyelid up, push your eyeball gently down and back at the same time until it's part of the way in. Then try to look upwards; if everything goes right your eyeball will rotate under the upper lid and back into its socket.

This has been a public service announcement.

For the women of South Dakota: an abortion manual

WOMEN OF SOUTH DAKOTA -- Maybe you're angry that your state thinks it knows better than you what to do with your body than you do. Maybe you're anxiously wondering where the nearest abortion clinic is, now that you will have to leave the state to get to one.

In the 1960s and early 1970s, when abortions were illegal in many places and expensive to get, an organization called Jane stepped up to the plate in the Chicago area. Jane initially hired an abortion doctor, but later they did the abortions themselves. They lost only one patient in 13,000 -- a lower death rate than that of giving live birth. The biggest obstacle was the fact that they thought of abortion as something only a doctor could do.

They were deceived -- much like you have probably been deceived. An abortion, especially for an early pregnancy, is a relatively easy procedure to perform. And now women of South Dakota is the time to learn how it is done. There is no reason you should be beholden to doctors -- especially in a state where doctors have been refusing to perform them, forcing the state's only abortion clinic to fly doctors in from elsewhere.

For under $2000, any person with the inclination to learn could create a fully functioning abortion setup allowing for both vacuum aspiration and dilation/curettage abortions. If you are careful and diligent, and have a good grasp of a woman's anatomy you will not put anyone's health or life in danger, even if you have not seen one of these procedures performed.

Women of South Dakota -- visit the link at the top of this post -- today.

Baby boomers prefer TV to sex: Canadian study

When it comes to sex and romance, aging Canadian baby boomers spend a lot more time watching television or surfing the net, according to a new study.

The survey by pollsters Ipsos Reid, commissioned by Pfizer Inc., the maker of Viagra, found that Canadians between the ages of 40 and 64 spend an average of 15 minutes a day on sex and romance, but can spend as much as five hours a day watching TV or surfing the Internet.

15 minutes of sex per day AND 5 hours per day watching TV and surfing the net?

And the downside is what?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Blind Faith's live debut heads to DVD

Short-lived supergroup Blind Faith's live debut will be chronicled on the DVD "London Hyde Park 1969," due April 10 in Europe and the following month in North America via Sanctuary.

I was one of the fortunate few who saw these guys live at Madison Square Garden in New York. The opening act was Delaney and Bonnie and Friends with Eric Clapton on tambourine. The year was 1969. They were one of the first to use a revolving circular stage. You could tell how primitive the technology was at the time because you could see the stage crew constantly untangling the cables.

But what about the music? Steve and Eric with incredible double guitar solos. Steve's great vocals and intense organ riffs. Even Rick Grech shines on the violin. And when do you see a standing ovation from 20,000 people for a 15 minute drum solo?

The DVD features renditions of all six tracks from the group's lone self-titled studio album, which had not even been released at the time of the show. Vintage performances from Spencer Davis Group, Traffic and Cream round out the package.

Blind Faith rose out of the ashes of Cream, when Baker and Eric Clapton united with ex-Spencer Davis and Traffic singer/keyboardist Steve Winwood and Family bassist Rick Grech.

After their live debut at Hyde Park, Blind Faith soldiered on for a U.S. tour of arenas, which was met with riots and clashes between fans and police on several occasions. The group quietly disbanded afterwards, with its members going on to other projects.

Despite the release of DVD, drummer Ginger Baker rules out any chance of a Blind Faith reunion. "Rick Grech died many years ago (in 1990)," he notes. "I just come out of retirement for short periods. I'm pretty much crippled with arthritis -- playing is a very painful experience for me."

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

Interior Secretary Gale Norton resigned Friday after five years of guiding the Bush administration's initiative to open government lands in the West to more oil and gas drilling, logging, grazing and commercial recreation.

Finally good riddance to bad rubbish finally means something. One thing that Gale Norton never did was rid this country of bad rubbish.

But many thanks are due to Gale:
Thanks for supporting deforestation for the lumber companies.

Thanks for allowing strip mining and blowing off the tops of mountains to increase coal profits and create toxic sludge which caused the deaths of innocent people.

Thanks for relaxing pollution standards for chemical companies.

Thanks for stripping federal protections of hundreds of protected animal species.

Thanks for supporting oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge.

Thanks for placing industrial cronies in key positions on your staff.

Thanks for the increase of snowmobiles in Yellowstone National Park.

Thanks for opening public lands to oil and gas mining.

Bye Gale

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

South Dakota, With State Average IQ of 90, Bans Most Abortions

South Dakota's governor signed a near-total ban on abortions in the state into law in what the governor called a ''direct frontal assault'' on the U.S. Supreme Court decision to legalize the practice 33 years ago.

South Dakota has a state average IQ of 90 and is ranked 45 out of 50 in national intelligence. An IQ range of 80-90 is classified as "dullness". You can draw your own conclusions.

The bill would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless the procedure was necessary to save the woman's life. It would make no exception for cases of rape or incest but such victims could get emergency contraception. Under the new law, doctors could get up to five years in prison for performing an illegal abortion.

The abortion bill earlier this month passed the House 50-18 and the Senate by 23-12. For the most part, republicans have dominated the Statehouse since the 1970s. What a surprise!

But Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse said the governor's decision to sign the bill is a victory for women. ''We finally have been heard,'' said Unruh. ''We are so excited. We're ordering lobster and having a party. We are thrilled.'' I guess it's ok to boil a lobster alive but not to scrape out a few non-living cells.

You gotta love this loon. Read more about her deceptive bullshit. By the way, it can cost you up to $1,500 to abstain from sex with Leslee. The donations form defaults to $100, gift certificates are $25 each, "Purity" rings sell for $329 plus books, brochures and audio tapes are also for sale at this non-profit organization.

But the news is not all bad:
1. We can round up the country's rapists and ship them off to South Dakota where they can take some pride in their work knowing their efforts will bear fruit, so to speak.

2. Fathers, brothers and mentally deficient cousins can move there with their wives... or sisters... or daughters... or whatever to create more genetic mayhem in peace.

3. Entrepreneurs will flock to South Dakota to open up a myriad of new businesses like garbage dumpsters, wire coat hangers, vacuum cleaners (Oreck vacuums can pick up a bowling ball!) and Krazy Glue.

4. The unlucky few who are forced to give birth can sell their babies on eBay or CraigsList.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Spike Lee: "Condi, stop smoking that crack!"

Firebrand director Spike Lee has found an unlikely new target for his latest spray: the secretary of state.

Says Lee: "I dislike Condoleezza Rice more than [President] Bush. The thing about it is that she's gotten a free ride from black people."

Oh no, he didn't.

"People say, 'She's so successful' and 'Look at her position as a black woman.' She is a black woman who grew up in Birmingham, Ala., and said that she never experienced a day of racism in her life," Lee tells the April issue of Stuff magazine.

"Condi, stop smoking that crack!"

"I know you love your Ferragamo shoes, but come on. While people were drowning in New Orleans, she was going up and down Madison Ave. buying Ferragamo shoes. Then she went to see 'Spamalot.'"

You heard the man, Madame Secretary. Put down the crack pipe.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Crazy Mel Gibson's Oscar Moment

Mel Gibson will appear in a brief spot on this Sunday’s Oscar broadcast speaking another exotic tongue: Maya. That's the sole language of Apocalypto, the adventure epic set in Pre-Columbian Mexico that Gibson is currently shooting.

Could Mayan human sacrifices cause as much of a stir among the politically correct as the anti-semitism in Gibson's depiction of the crucifixion of Christ? "After what I experienced with The Passion," he says, "I frankly don’t give a flying fuck about much of what they think."

Gibson plans to use real Jews as human sacrifices. "I wanted to make it as close to reality as I could", said Gibson. His father, Hutton Gibson, is serving as Historical Consultant on the film.

His last film, The Passion of the Christ, was spoken entirely in the dead languages of Latin, Aramaic and Forked Tongue. More violent than Texas Chainsaw Massacre and featuring terrifying hook-nosed Jews, millions of religious parents dragged their young children to this film to literally teach them the "fear of Jesus". The catch line of the film was "just when you thought it was safe to go back in the church."

At least we won't be able to understand what this Nazi is saying. I intend to use Mel's time on air to prepare a kosher corned beef sandwich for myself.

Katherine Harris Caught Up in Bribery Scandal

U.S. republican Rep. Katherine Harris said Thursday she did not knowingly do anything wrong in her associations with a defense contractor who prosecutors say illegally funneled thousands of dollars to her campaign in 2004.

You remember Katherine Harris, don't you? She's the former Florida secretary of state (and chairperson of the Florida RNC -- no conflict there!) who helped fix the 2000 presidential election recount in favor of George Bush.

The donations were described in a plea agreement last Friday, when Mitchell Wade, the former president of MZM Inc., pleaded guilty to bribing U.S. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham in exchange for assistance in getting $150 million in Defense Department contracts for his company.

He also admitted making illegal campaign contributions in the names of MZM employees and their spouses to Harris and Rep. Virgil Goode, R-Va. Prosecutors said Harris got $32,000 from employees who were reimbursed by Wade. Harris said she recently donated the money to charity, and didn't know the donations would be reimbursed. Recently donated? Nice.

Wade has been cooperating with federal prosecutors in Washington and San Diego since last summer and is required to continue to do so as part of his plea agreement with the government. He faces up to 20 years in prison. Prosecutors said they are continuing to investigate and won't say if Harris is a subject.

"I think these revelations should matter to voters because I think ethics should count for something in a public servant," said Dan McLaughlin, spokesman for U.S. Senator Bill Nelson, D-Florida.

Randy Cunningham in prison and Katherine Harris headed that way -- it's good to be alive.

Sentenced to 8 Years - No Special Treatment Expected for Cunningham

Former republican Representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham was sentenced in federal court to eight years and four months in prison for taking $2.4 million in bribes from military contractors in return for smoothing the way for government contracts.

He may have once been counted among the leaders of the land, and he may have once been acclaimed as a war hero, but when he arrives at prison, Randy Cunningham will be just another prisoner, one of about 190,000 inmates now in the federal prison system.

Regardless of the lofty status he once held, Cunningham won't be granted any extraordinary considerations, according to Sandra Hijar, spokeswoman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons. Of course, his eight year sentence is already substantially less than most pot smokers get but I guess that doesn't count.

What Cunningham will experience during his initial weeks is an orientation in which he is evaluated and introduced to the prison's rules and regulations, its program offerings and issued a handbook.

But first will come one of the harsh realities of prison ---- chief among them being a strip search including an examination of his body cavities. He will be told to remove any items in his pockets and to strip and then undergo the body search.

And why not? He's been sticking his dirty fist up the American people's ass for years. I hope they don't use any lubricant.

Once that is completed and he is issued prison garb, Cunningham must dress in front of the staff.

He will be required to take part in a "social interview" to determine if there are any nonmedical reasons he should not be housed with the prison's general population. Let's hope for genpop and he get's a 300 pound black man named Bubba for a cellmate --- and he loves older white men.

Federal prison inmates start jobs earning 12 cents an hour and can work their way up to 40 cents per hour. Hey, here's a novel idea -- why doesn't Randy stay in prison working at these wages until the entire $2.4 million is paid off?

But this has been a bad day for the dark side of the force -- and that's a good thing.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Bush Flip-Flops on NASA Budget

Some of the most highly promoted missions on NASA's scientific agenda would be postponed indefinitely or perhaps even canceled under the agency's new budget, despite its administrator's vow to Congress six months ago that not "one thin dime" would be taken from space science to pay for President Bush's plan to send astronauts to the Moon and Mars.

The cuts come to $3 billion over the next five years. Bush spends that much for one hour in Iraq.

Among the casualties in the budget, released last month, are efforts to look for habitable planets and perhaps life elsewhere in the galaxy, an investigation of the dark energy that seems to be ripping the universe apart, bringing a sample of Mars back to Earth and exploring for life under the ice of Jupiter's moon Europa — as well as numerous smaller programs and individual research projects that astronomers say are the wellsprings of new science and new scientists.

Could you imagine if we found life on other planets and they said "take us to your leader"? How embarassing would that be?

The new cuts, they say, will drive young people from the field, ending American domination of space science and perhaps ceding future discoveries to Europe. Won't we feel foolish when the secret of the creation of the universe is solved by a housewife from Bulgaria.

Many scientists said the roots of their plight lay in the Bush administration's refusal to ask Congress for enough money to carry out the Moon-Mars program, announced with fanfare two years ago.

For example, the James Webb Space Telescope — the designated successor to the Hubble telescope, designed to see back in time and space within a whisper of the Big Bang (no reference to Dick Cheney) — was ranked first on the astronomers' wish list in an influential National Academy of Sciences survey in 2000. But delays and technical problems have almost doubled its cost, to more than $4.5 billion, and postponed its launching by two years, to 2013.

The loss of the James Webb telescope is unfortunate - I would've liked to have seen the universe back when George Bush didn't exist.

Garrison Keillor - "Impeach Bush Now"

Now let me get one thing straight up front. I'd rather drink New Orleans levee water, go hunting with Dick Cheney or spend a fun filled weekend at Guantánamo Bay then listen to the life sucking radio program known as The Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor. The show moves along at two speeds - slow and "hand me the defibrillator."

That being said, I now have new found respect for this curmugeon of the heartland. In the latest edition of he calls for the impeachment of George Bush. Here are the highlights:

"These are troubling times for all of us who love this country, as surely we all do, even the satirists. You may poke fun at your mother, but if she is belittled by others it burns your bacon. And then you read the paper and realize the country is led by a man who isn't paying attention, and you hope that somebody will poke him. Do we need to impeach him to bring some focus to this man's life? The man was lost and then he was found and now he's more lost than ever, plus being blind."

"Wiretap surveillance of Americans without a warrant? Great. Go for it. How about turning over American ports to a country more closely tied to 9/11 than Saddam Hussein was? Fine by me. No problem. And what about the war in Iraq? Hey, you're doing a heck of a job, Brownie. No need to tweak a thing."

"But torture is something else. When Americans start pulling people's fingernails out with pliers and poking lighted cigarettes into their palms, then we need to come back to basic values. Most people agree with this, and in a democracy that puts the torturers in a delicate position. They must make sure to destroy their e-mails and have subordinates who will take the fall. Because it is impossible to keep torture secret. It goes against the American grain and it eats at the conscience of even the most disciplined, and in the end the truth will come out. It is coming out now."

"According to the leaders of the bipartisan 9/11 Commission, our country is practically as vulnerable today as it was on 9/10. Our seaports are wide open, our airspace is not secure except for the nation's capital, and little has been done about securing the nuclear bomb materials lying around in the world. They give the administration D's and F's in most categories of defending against terrorist attack."

"The peaceful lagoon that is the White House is designed for the comfort of a vulnerable man. Perfectly understandable, but not what is needed now. The U.S. Constitution provides a simple ultimate way to hold him to account for war crimes and the failure to attend to the country's defense. Impeach him and let the Senate hear the evidence."

Bravo, Garrison. Lake Weedbegone would be proud of you.

Condi Rice is Here to Pump You Up!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is a woman who meets with princes and prime ministers but never goes a day without exercising. She's learned that it takes work to stay in shape -- both mentally and physically.

"I put in a little gym at my apartment," she said. Rice prefers low-impact exercises, much like George Bush has on health care. "I'm ... a little bit over 50," Rice said with a smile.

Her typical daily routine includes:

1. 10 minutes of Jumping Jacks on the Constitution.

2. 5 minutes of crunching the budget.

3. 10 minutes of spinning lies.

4. 5 minutes of stretching the truth.

5. 10 minutes of running the country into the ground.

6. Finally, her morning meeting with the president otherwise known as 20 minutes with the dumb bell.