Monday, January 23, 2006

The Buttafuocos and Amy Fisher Plan TV Reunion

More than a decade after 16-year-old Amy Fisher had a sexual relationship with a much-older car mechanic and then shot his wife in the face, the one-time "Long Island Lolita" and Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco have agreed to appear together in a televised reunion performing such hits as "Bang, bang...she shot me down", "Ain't That a Kick in the Head?" and "Can't Get It Out of My Head".

"It's time to just put it behind us," said Fisher, now 31, "We played this all out in a public eye. It'd be interesting to let the public see the healing process at the end. They saw everything else — why not let them see the final product?"

The final product? Don't we already know the final product? Amy got out of prison complete with the skills necessary for a successful career as a corrections officer in a womens prison complete with an ample stock of cigarettes and chocolate. Joey Buttafuoco, who has remarried, was sentenced in 2004 to a year in jail and five years' probation after pleading guilty to felony insurance fraud. In 2005, he pleaded not guilty to charges that he violated probation by possessing ammunition. In other words, a model citizen.

And Mary Jo's head still sets off metal detectors.

Fisher spent seven years in prison. Joey Buttafuoco, who was jailed for statutory rape following the 1992 shooting, said he planned to ask Fisher to explain her actions. "I've been asked about a million times by Mary Jo, 'Why did Amy shoot me?' I was never able to get that answer," said Buttafuoco, now 49.

Joey, the answer is one of the following choices:

a. Amy wanted to buy the house next door and needed to reduce the property value quickly.
b. Amy was conducting a study of 9-1-1 response times.
c. Mary Jo, after denying Amy's request to borrow a cup of sugar, said "what are you gonna do...shoot me?"
d. Joey wanted Mary Jo dead and manipulated young Amy to do the deed for him."

The really sad part of this is that this motley crew gets a television special but The West Wing gets cancelled. Normally I wouldn't watch this kind of tripe but I'll watch it in the name of journalistic integrity. I guess I'll make room on my Tivo for this...but I'll delete it after 2 or 3 viewings.

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