Thursday, December 22, 2005

I Saw George Bush Kissing Santa Claus

It used to be that the holiday-season ritual of talking to Santa most always meant a trip to the mall. But parents are now turning increasingly to commercial services that provide phone calls from a Santa who knows not only what is on the child's wish list but also the names of siblings, friends and teachers, favorite vacation spots and what was under the tree last year.

It only costs about $10 for each phone call.

Why don't we all have Santa call the White House to tell little Georgie that he's on the naughty list? It might sound something like this:

"Hello? Is little Georgie Bush there? Oh, hi Georgie. This is Santa. No, this is not Karl Rove doing a phony phone call. I'd like to talk to you about your behavior this past year. You haven't been a very good boy, have you?"

"For one thing, you don't play well with others, do you? There's that whole illegal war thing in that desert place. Why did you pick on those innocent people? You wanna fight a war, how about the war on poverty?"

"And we have trouble telling the truth, don't we? WMDs? Uranium from Africa? Intelligent Design? Embryonic stem cells are people? FEMA did a great job? Jenna and Barbara are not alcoholics? You're still searching for Osama Bin Laden? You weren't AWOL?"

"So Georgie, I'm afraid you're going to be put on the naughty list and get nothing but coal in your stocking. But you won't be alone. You'll be joined by all your play buddies like Rove, DeLay, Rumsfeld, Frist, Ashcroft, Rice, Cheney and well, just about everyone you play with."

Here Cum De Judge


A Circuit Court judge has been accused of having pornographic images on his work computer and using improper conduct toward two female lawyers.

Brandt Downey, 60, habitually viewed pornography on his court-issued computer and had inappropriate contact and communications with female attorneys, the state Judicial Qualifications Commission said Tuesday.

I bet he's naked under that robe. I wonder if any of the ladies walked in on him while he was "pounding his gavel".

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Court rejects 'intelligent design' in science class

HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - "Intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district, a federal judge said Tuesday, ruling in one of the biggest courtroom clashes on evolution since the 1925 Scopes trial.

Dover Area School Board members violated the Constitution when they ordered that its biology curriculum must include the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III said.

Several members repeatedly lied to cover their motives even while professing religious beliefs, he said.

Said the judge: "It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy."

Text of the school's statement

Text of the statement on "intelligent design" that Dover Area High School administrators have been reading to students at the start of biology lessons on evolution:

The Pennsylvania Academic Standards require students to learn about Darwin's theory of evolution and eventually to take a standardized test of which evolution is a part.

Because Darwin's theory is a theory, it continues to be tested as new evidence is discovered. The theory is not a fact. Gaps in the theory exist for which there is no evidence. A theory is defined as a well-tested explanation that unifies a broad range of observations.

Intelligent design is an explanation of the origin of life that differs from Darwin's view. The reference book, "Of Pandas and People," is available in the library along with other resources for students who might be interested in gaining an understanding of what intelligent design actually involves.

With respect to any theory, students are encouraged to keep an open mind. The school leaves the discussion of the origins of life to individual students and their families. As a standards-driven district, class instruction focuses upon preparing students to achieve proficiency on standards-based assessments.

When will the religious right cease their lies and hypocritical machinations in the name of the lord? They should hang their heads in shame.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A Stern Decision


It's 1985. I'm driving home from my new job at 5:00 pm. While surfing down the dial I land on 92.3 FM K-Rock from New York City. Little did I know this was the beginning of a 20 year relationship with a nutty, neurotic and hilarious character named Howard Stern. My sense of humor has always been known to be off the wall and less than appropriate. Now I hear this guy saying everything I think is truly funny for four hours a day.

Howard quickly moved to morning drive time and I looked forward to the daily commute and put a radio in my office so I could hear the entire show.

Six years later, I came down with a life threatening illness where I was confined to a hospital bed for almost two months. It seriously affected my ability to walk, talk or feed myself. My wonderful wife-to-be asked if I needed anything. Without hesitation, I muttered "walkman". For four hours a day, Howard Stern took me away from my hospital bed and transported me to a wild world of wacky bits, strippers, the Wack Pack, celebrities, contests, and song parodies. I have very little family and what got me through was Howard, Robin, Fred, Jackie and Bababooey (Gary).

Now, 14 years later, I hear Howard's routines destroyed by edits and bleeps that I used to enjoy uncut years ago. Has the definition of obscenity changed? Not possible, since obscenity has never been defined in the first place. It's the result of pressure applied by the religious right on George Bush and the FCC. Specifically, the FCC previously run by Michael Powell, who was appointed by Bush because he was the son of Colin Powell.

If only one radio station had fought the FCC fines in the courts, the challenges to free speech would most certainly be found unconstitutional. But it never happened because of the gestapo tactics of Mr. Powell. Since the FCC controls the granting and renewal of station licenses, radio stations were told that all new license acquisitions would have to be suspended until the trials were over. Thus, it became more cost effective to pay the fines.

As of 12/16/05, Howard Stern will no longer be heard on terrestrial radio. This is sad because the religious right-wing wackos have won and "free" radio moves another step closer to homogenized, republican claptrap such as Limbaugh, Hannity and O'Reilly, that is truly obscene.

Fortunately, Sirius satellite radio has guaranteed us at least five more years of Howard restored to his former glory beginning 1/9/06. Is this to be considered a defeat for free speech? I think it's more like a draw. Unfortunately, more and more progressive, intelligent, free thinkers are being forced to join the exodus from terrestrial radio.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD/EVIL

War Costs To Reach $500 BILLION

The cost of the "war" in Iraq will soon reach $500,000,000,000 (500 billion). George Bush thinks this is money well spent. He deemed it necessary to invade a sovereign nation that is proven to have no weopons of mass destruction, no ties to Osama Bin Laden, and no history of terrorism against us or anyone else. All Iraq does have is what Mr. Bush is really after - oil.

But since Mr. Bush can't think.........of anything better to spend the money on, let's see if we can provide him with some ideas. Not too many though, we all know how confused he can get.

$500 billion can provide:

Salaries for 50,000 Head Start teachers for 232 years.

Fund Meals on Wheels for 8,000,000 of our elderly for 35 years.

$500 worth of clothes for 2,000,000 homeless people for the next 500 years.

$5,000 worth of health care for 10,000,000 people for 10 years.

Then there's the reinstatement of all the money George Bush has stolen from programs that deal with the environment, job programs, medicare, medicaid, social security, health care, health insurance, education, and more.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

My 10 Year Old Son Gets Better Grades Than George Bush

The former Sept. 11 Commission accused George Bush of failing to protect the country against another attack. The panel cited poor airplane passenger screening methods, pork-barrel security funding and other problems due to the Bush administration not moving quickly enough to enact the majority of its recommendations of July 2004.

Rather than disbanding like most federally appointed commissions when their terms expire, Committee Chairman Thomas Kean and the other nine commissioners continued their work as a private entity called the 9/11 Public Discourse Project.

Wrapping up more than three years of investigations and hearings, the former commission issued what members said was their final assessment of the government's counterterror performance as a report card. It gave failing grades in five areas, and issued only one "A" — actually an A-minus — for the Bush administration's efforts to curb terrorist financing.

A case in point - Mr. Bush's crack team placed a miniature golf course on a federal list of the most attractive terrorist targets. They were probably worried that some kids playing with a radio controlled airplance would make a suicide run into that windmill thing.

The five "F"s were for:

Failing to provide a radio system to allow first responders from different agencies communicate with each other during emergencies.

Distributing federal homeland security funding to states on a "pork-barrel" basis instead of risk.

Failing to consolidate names of suspicious airline travelers on a single terror watch screening list.

Hindering congressional oversight by retaining intelligence budget information as classified materials.

Failing to engage in an alliance to develop international standards for the treatment and prosecution of detained terror suspects.

My 10 year old son gets better grades than this. Does that mean my son should be president? No, of course not. But with grades like five "F"s, it seems that one child was left behind.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Pryor Acts of Comedy

Richard Pryor (1940-2005)

I remember the first time I saw Richard Pryor. It was on the Merv Griffin Show in the 1960s. At the time, Bill Cosby was the funniest comedian around and this new guy was a very funny approximation of Cos. But you couldn't see the same conviction in the material.

Flash forward to 1974. I'm in grad school and one of my roomates, Morris, a six foot three soft spoken black man going for his Masters Degree in Labor Relations, brings home this record for us to hear. It was "That Nigger's Crazy" by Richard Pryor.

I had never heard anything like that before. We laughed so hard we almost threw up. After it was over, several questions came to me. Is it acceptable for a white man to laugh so hard at black humor? Would it be any funnier if I was black?

In my opinion, there are only three comedians that are not only extremely funny but were brave enough to challenge the status quo and bring humor to the level that presently we all take for granted.

First, there was Lenny Bruce. He literally gave his life for free speech. So Howard Stern can say "penis" on the radio.
Next came George Carlin. He stretches the envelope so far we can no longer see the edge.
Finally, there was Richard Pryor. He not only thought white people were funny but that black people were just as funny.

The next keeper of the flame would have been Bill Hicks had he survived pancreatic cancer.

So is it acceptable for a white man to laugh at black humor?
I think Richard would say "fuck yeah".

Would it be any funnier if I was black?
It couldn't possibly be.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Happiness is a Warm Gun - John Lennon


I posted this at the exact date and time John Lennon was shot and killed by Mark David Chapman. Being a child of the 60s, I experienced the life and death of many musical legends - Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Jones, Moon, Bonham - they touched me for a time and then I moved on.

So why is it so different when I think of John Lennon? Why can I still listen to Jimi and Janis without a tear at my heart? It is impossible for me to hear a Lennon song or look at a photograph of John or watch "A Hard Day's Night" or "Help" without a chill, a lump, a tear. Anyone who can listen to "Imagine" without some kind of an emotional response must either have a heart of stone or be a republican. (I guess "republican" is redundant in this case).

I think of how much more Bob Geldof and Bono could have accomplished with one of the greatest political activists of our time at their side. I know that John would have spoken to today's youth with the same conviction and relevance as he had in the 1970s.

I am well beyond the "John was the words and Paul was the music" argument. One simple song like "In My Life" destroys that myth. Or the nonsense that Yoko destroyed the Beatles. In order for John to become the political force that he was, the Beatles had to be jettisoned. Yoko inspired John to speak out for peace as passionately as he did. It's only right that the Beatles started and ended with John.

John was always known as the "funny Beatle". Yes, he was. His life and his music shared the same sense of humor, irony, pathos, and most of all, warmth. We will never know his like again.

For more remembrances visit this blog.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

52-year-old grandfather ordered to Army duty

Wisconsin native Gary Olson is a 52-year-old grandfather, a retired U.S. Army veteran - and soon to be a soldier again, thanks to the need for troops in Iraq.

Olson was ordered to report for duty Dec. 4 in Fort Jackson, S.C.

Sally Olson, his wife of 33 years, said that she was shocked by the orders and figured the chances of it happening were slim when he took early retirement more than a decade ago.

"Why don't they just go to the draft if they are getting this desperate for people?" she asked. "In a couple of months, he will be 53."

Sally Olson said she disagrees with President Bush that the war in Iraq was justified.

You got it Sally! So does 67% of the nation.

The Army told Olson, a sergeant first class mechanic when he retired, to prepare for 18 months away from home after he passes his physical.

Maj. Elizabeth Robbins, an Army spokeswoman at the Pentagon, said since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the military has called to duty about 6,500 retired soldiers on individual ready reserve because they have some specific, needed skills.

Olson thought his days as a soldier were done when he accepted early retirement from the Army in 1992. A condition of the deal was Olson, who had spent 17 years in the Army, had to remain on ready reserve until age 60, he said.

George Bush is only 57. Why doesn't he go? Oh, I forgot...he has no needed skills. How about the Bush twins? They're 23 and able bodied. Oh, right...the children of the rich and powerful don't have to serve their country, only the poor and disenfranchised.

Olson now has three grandchildren, ages 1, 2 and 7, who all live nearby.

Sally Olson said the news of her husband's return to the Army hit the 7-year-old grandson hard.

"He said, 'Why does Papa have to go?' And we told him they need Papa to come back and help some more and finish a job that is not quite done," she said.

I'm glad they didn't tell Gary's grandson that the job will never be done.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

What? No Hanukkah.....Bush?

If it's a spruce tree adorned with 10,000 lights and 5,000 ornaments displayed on the Capitol grounds in December, it's a Christmas tree and that's what it should be called, says House Speaker Dennis Hastert. His office said the tree began to be referred to as the Holiday Tree in the 1990s. Spokesman Ron Bonjean said the reasons were unclear.

The reasons were unclear?

How much longer will the separation of church and state remain unclear to the republicans? If they want to call it a Christmas tree just make sure it shares equal billing with Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and every other religion practiced in our great country.

Otherwise it's just a tree wasting electricity.

Jerry Falwell, one of this nation's great thinkers, responded to the Washington Times with his usual level of wisdom:

"The new name drew the ire of Christians and evangelical leader the Rev. Jerry Falwell, whose law group the Liberty Counsel threatened to sue if the tree wasn't rechristened with Christmas."

I hope Ian Siegal of the Jewish Defense League is preparing a similar motion.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Maybe He Was Born To Run

On the 30th anniversary of the release of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" album, Senators Jon Corzine and Frank Lautenberg, both New Jersey Democrats, proposed a resolution congratulating Bruce on his contribution to American culture. It's the sort of thing that normally sails through Congress but the resolution was shot down by the Senate republicans, obviously because of the support Springsteen lent John Kerry last year.

A childish, petty reaction typical of republicans.

Now, as Corzine mulls over possible replacements for his Senate seat after being elected governor of New Jersey earlier this month, there is a push among his constituents for him to name--who else?--The Boss.

Why not? Bruce is at least as qualified as anyone else. He was born in the USA on the backstreets of the edge of town. He believes in better days, glory days, dancing in the dark, the land of hope and dreams, and the promised land. New Jersey is his home. He has a pink cadillac and a TV with 57 channels (and nothin' on). He is a spirit in the night and a saint in the city.

A good man is hard to find.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Monday, November 28, 2005

Another Republican Crook Bites the Dust

Republican Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham of California pleaded guilty today to conspiracy and tax charges and tearfully resigned from office, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes to steer defense contracts to conspirators (probably to Cheney/Haliburton).

Cunningham, 63, entered pleas in U.S. District Court to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud and wire fraud, and tax evasion for underreporting his income in 2004.

One more fat republican down. It's only a matter of time before we wrest control of our country from these people who care nothing for its citizens..

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Friday, November 25, 2005

Want to Support the Troops? Send Rush Limbaugh Money!

Rush Limbaugh has reached a new low in shameless profiteering by taking advantage of our brave troops in Iraq. He has just introduced his "24/7 Adopt-a-Soldier Program". Sponsors may send a subscription to the Limbaugh newsletter at a discounted price of $49.99 each to as many soldiers as they wish. This also gives the troops access to online content at Rush's website.

Let's do some calculations. If only 5% of this moron's 3 million deluded listeners fall for this scam that would be 150,000 subscriptions. At $50 each, Rush stands to pocket $7,500,000. Since there really is no additional cost to adding more users of online content, the only real cost is the paper and the postage of the newsletter. Obviously, the pill-popper stands to realize a huge profit. This is good news only for Rush's OxyContin suppliers and sets a bad example for "dittoheads".

Rushlimbaughonline.com summarizes this disgraceful action as follows:

"To any sensible person, soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan have needs far more urgent than either Rush 24/7 or the Limbaugh Letter. Items such as bullet proof vests, up-armored Humvees, airline tickets for family members to visit injured troops at Landstuhl or Walter Reed are certainly higher on the wish list. But such a donation drive would not result in Premiere Radio Networks making profits in the millions."

It's time for the radical right to relinquish control of our country before it's too late.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Intelligent Design: A Near Myth

A course being offered next semester by the University of Kansas Religious Studies department is titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies."

At least the Iroquios Creation Theory that the earth was created on the back of a giant turtle is still considered science.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Thursday, November 24, 2005

A Thanksgiving Prayer, by William S. Burroughs

For John Dillinger
In hope he is still alive
Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986

Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts

thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison —

thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger —

thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot —

thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes —

thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through —

thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces —

thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers —

thanks for laboratory AIDS —

thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs —

thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business —

thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a headache and you always were a bore —

thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Sophie Scholl - The Final Days

On Monday, November 7, 2005, I went to my weekly session of the Filmmakers Symposium. Here we get to screen diverse films before they open and then speak to a guest associated with its production. I saw a film that I will not soon forget..."Sophie Scholl - Die Ietzten Tage (The Final Days)". There have already been two films about Sophie Scholl but neither had access to the lost documentation of her last five days alive.

Sophie Scholl (1921 – 1943) was a member of the White Rose resistance movement in Nazi Germany. She was convicted of treason and executed by guillotine.

At the age of twelve, she joined the Hitler Youth. Her initial enthusiasm gradually gave way to criticism. She was aware of the dissenting political views of her father, of friends, and also of some teachers. An avid reader, she developed a growing interest in philosophy and theology. This was her alternative world to National Socialism.

In 1942 she enrolled at the University of Munich as a student of biology and philosophy. Her brother Hans, who was studying medicine, introduced her to his friends. This group of friends were eventually known for their political affairs, were drawn together by their shared love of art, literature, philosophy and theology.

During the summer of 1942, Sophie had to do war service in a metallurgical plant in Ulm. At the same time, her father was serving time in prison for a critical remark about Hitler to an employee. Sophie had also participated in the production of the leaflets of the White Rose and their distribution. She was arrested on February 18, 1943, while distributing the sixth leaflet at the University of Munich. On February 22, 1943, Sophie, her brother Hans and their friend Christoph Probst were condemned to death and executed by guillotine in the convict prison Munich-Stadelheim only a few hours later. The execution was supervised by Dr. Walter Roemer who was the enforcement chief of the Munich district court at that time.

Prison officials emphasized the courage with which she walked to her execution. Just before he was executed Hans Scholl shouted out: "Long live freedom!"

The actress who portrayed Sophie Scholl, Julia Jentsch, has already won several international film awards for the role, as has the director and the film itself. It is the official German entry for Best Foreign Film for the Academy Awards.

After the film, we had a discussion with the director, Marc Rothemund, who described his search for the lost documents describing the Nazi interrogations. He discovered transcripts of the Gestapo interrogation of Sophie which were locked away for years in the GDR archives. He told us that he used the actual locations where the leaflets were distributed and the actual court house.

"The real damage is done by those millions who want to 'survive.' The honest men who just want to be left in peace. Those who don’t want their little lives disturbed by anything bigger than themselves. Those with no sides and no causes. Those who won’t take measure of their own strength, for fear of antagonizing their own weakness. Those who don’t like to make waves—or enemies. Those for whom freedom, honor, truth, and principles are only literature. Those who live small, mate small, die small. It’s the reductionist approach to life: if you keep it small, you’ll keep it under control. If you don’t make any noise, the bogeyman won’t find you. But it’s all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn." - Sophie Scholl


Marc Rothemund said that Sophie Scholl was one of the greatest German heroes. She has 192 schools named after her. Sadly, though, not many people outside of Germany know who she was.

Maybe now they will...

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

We're Not in Kansas Anymore (Thank God?)


In 1999, Kansas shocked the world by stripping its curriculum standards of any mention of evolution, a move reversed in 2001 after voters ousted several conservative members of the education board. I thought that was sad then but Kansas (28th dumbest state) has taken another drink from the stupid fountain.

The Kansas Board of Education(?) voted to adopt new science standards challenging Darwin's theory of evolution in the classroom. The standards recommend that schools teach specific views that doubters of evolution use to undermine its importance in science education.

The most controversial change was a redefinition of science itself, so that it would not be explicitly limited to natural explanations. That makes perfect sense because these religious zealots cannot deliver "intelligent" design as real science unless they redefine science itself. Now children in Kansas can learn the truth about creation. Little green men visited Earth millions of years ago, dropped a load of goo and monitored our progress.

Well, that does fit the description of "intelligent" design, doesn't it?

A national movement to have intelligent design taught in science classrooms is "very dangerous," Cornell University's (New York - 4th smartest state) president, Hunter R. Rawlings III, said after taking up the issue in a speech.

But George Bush, demonstrating his usual level of wisdom, invigorated proponents of teaching alternatives to evolution in public schools with remarks saying that schoolchildren should be taught about "intelligent design," a view that promotes the idea that an unseen force is behind the development of humanity. Why would he say that Karl Rove is unseen?

Bush told Texas newspaper reporters in a group interview at the White House that he believes that intelligent design should be taught alongside evolution as competing "theories". "Both sides ought to be properly taught . . . so people can understand what the debate is about," he said. Bush added: "Part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. . . . You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, and the answer is yes."

John Calvert, a lawyer who runs the Intelligent Design Network, based in Kansas, raised the board as "taking a very courageous step" that would "make science education interesting to students rather than boring."

Here's why Calvert is a liar.

"This is a sad day, not just for Kansas kids, but for Kansas," Janet Waugh of Kansas City, Kan., one of four dissenting board members, said before the vote. "We're becoming a laughing stock not only of the nation but of the world."

Try the universe, Janet.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Is that an iPod in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Purveyors of porn in response to the new video-playing iPod are proving that sex even sells in tiny packages especially when it is portable.

One online network of pinup girls said it logged 500,000 downloads of the sexy three to five minute video clips in the first 24 hours targeting the new iPod-toting crowd.

It's a no-brainer: pornography to go.

Soon enough, skin flicks whose viewing has been largely restricted to the privacy of homes and theaters could be on view in the open public of parks and mass transit, for all ages to see.

Sin City, based in Chatsworth, Calif., already offers trailers of full-length adult films for the Sony PlayStation Portable, a handheld video game player. It now plans full-length adult films for the video iPod.

CLASSIFICATION: YOUR CALL

Friday, November 04, 2005

Andy Rooney on Voting

"Voters should be required to take an IQ test. The IQ score of the voter would register along with his or her vote. The candidate who got the highest total of IQ scores would be the winner."

What a fantastic idea! According to IQ and Politics, John Kerry would have won by a landslide. 31 of the 34 dumbest states were Bush states (Texas came in at #40). The 16 states with the highest IQs were Kerry states.

This makes pefect sense. Bush's approval rating went from 90 in July 2001 to 37 in November 2005. In other words, it took the Bush states 4 years to figure out what the Kerry states already knew -- that Bush is a disaster as a president.

I told everyone that Bush was a loser in 2000.
But hey, I'm from New Jersey (third highest IQ).

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Say No To Scalito

Samuel Alito has been a judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals since his appointment by the first President Bush in 1990. So far he has compiled an extreme right-wing record - a record that has earned him the nickname "Scalito" for his ideological resemblance to Justice Antonin Scalia. Alito's opinions demonstrate that he is an opponent of many legal rights for all Americans and must not be confirmed to the Supreme Court.

Check it out:

Hostile to basic reproductive privacy rights
Alito wants government to be able to interfere in personal decisions on reproductive rights. Alito was in favor of a law requiring a woman to notify her husband before obtaining an abortion. "Yes, dear...it's your body. You just have to tell me what you do with it."

Rejects basic protections for workers
Alito has taken positions that would have made it more difficult for victims of race and sex discrimination to prove their claims.

Leads revolution against federal laws protecting individual and other rights
Alito has said that Congress had no authority to require state employers to comply with the Family and Medical Leave Act. He said that 12 weeks leave was too long. I wonder how much leave Scalito would need after passing an eight pound bowling ball out of his ass!

He was also against a ruling that stated that Congress has the power to restrict the transfer and possession of machine guns at gun shows.

Fails to consider racial discrimination in capital punishment
An African American had been convicted of felony murder by an all white jury from which black jurors had been illegally banned because of their race. Alito rejected the defendant's claims.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

For more information go to Savethecourt.org

Australia may solve Ripper mystery

ONE of the greatest murder mysteries of all time - the identity of Jack the Ripper - may soon be revealed by DNA technology developed in Australia.

Scientist Ian Findlay will use the new test on saliva the notorious serial killer would have left behind if he licked the stamps on the envelopes of letters he sent to London police. Prof. Findlay's method, called Cell Track-ID, is able to extract and compile a DNA fingerprint from a single cell or strand of hair up to 160 years old. Hair believed to be from Catherine Eddowes – one of at least five prostitutes Jack the Ripper is known to have butchered in London's East End during his reign of terror in 1888 – will also be tested.

Prof Findlay, based at Queensland's Griffith University, said if DNA was found intact on the stamps, it could be compared to DNA from the descendants of suspects.

"There were 600 letters sent to police claiming 'I am Jack the Ripper' and while most of theses are hoaxes, some are thought to be genuine," Prof Findlay said.

"But one of the letters was sent with a piece of kidney taken from one of his victims in a box and another with an earlobe – this information was never released by the police at the time.

"It's more likely these letters are from Jack the Ripper.

"We try not to think who or what before we do what we do in the forensic lab – we will let the results speak for themselves," Prof. Findlay said.

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD (and pretty cool)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Where At Least One Man Has Gone Before

George Takei, who starred as Hikaru Sulu on STAR TREK for three TV seasons and six movies, has come out as a homosexual in the current issue of Frontiers, a Los Angeles magazine covering the gay and lesbian community.

Mr. Takei, who is 68, has been with his current partner for 18 years. That's more than most straight marriages last. He lived in a Japanese internment camp with his family from age 4 to 8. Yes, that was legal back then. But our government, in lieu of an apology, has made same sex marriage a crime. Sorry, George...you can't win for losing. Perhaps when the religious wrong loses their grip on our country you might have a hope to ... "cling on".

Photon torpedos away!

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

War Pigs

Vice President Dick Cheney's chief scapegoat, Scooter Libby, was indicted yesterday for obstruction of justice, perjury and lying. Having no remaining tools republicans normally use to run the country, Scooter immediately resigned his post as Cheney's Chief of Staff. That's one down and three to go.

Federal prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald did not indict on the issue that prompted the investigation. Who in the government leaked the classified C.I.A. identity of the wife of Joseph Wilson, one of the biggest critics of the administration's rationale for war with Iraq? Since the prosecutor believes that Scooter wasn't the source of the link but did believe that he covered up the identity of the guilty party then it is obvious the act of treason was committed by either George Bush, Dick Cheney or Karl Rove.

If I were Scooter Libby right now I would be extremely nervous. Imagine being sent to prison with a name like "Scooter".

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Friday, October 28, 2005

Two Scary Stories for Halloween

Here are two frightening stories for Halloween. Unfortunately, they're both true.

Newton, Massachusetts - When students at Underwood Elementary School walk in to their classrooms on October 31st, there will be no witches, SpongeBob SquarePants, skeleton paintings or Frankenstein tattoos to greet them. The school's principal said yesterday he acceded to the complaints of a handful of parents who said that because the school's traditional Halloween celebrations offended their religious beliefs, they would not send their children to school if the revelry continued this year.

He canceled Halloween!

What if:
Wiccans protested Christmas?
The Ku Klux Klan protested Kwanzaa?
Nazis protested Yom Kippur?
Loggers protested Arbor Day?
Native Americans protested Thanksgiving?
The unemployed protested Labor Day?
African Americans protested White Sales?
Norman Bates protested Mother's Day?
Conscientious Objectors protested Veterans Day?
Ted Nugent protested Vegan Day?
(ok, I made that one up)

Sparta, New Jersey - Students at Pope John XXIII Regional High School have been ordered by the principal, the Rev. Kieran McHugh, to remove personal postings about the school or themselves from Web sites like myspace.com or xanga.com, even if they were posted from the students' home computers. This was done in order to protect students from predators.

I don't know about you but stories like this scare the pants off me. A handful of religious extremists cause one of our most beloved holidays to be canceled. A priest denies his students the use of probably the most important communication tool of this century to protect them from talking to predators. Perhaps the good reverend is looking in the wrong place for predators of children. Maybe the problem is not in cyberspace.

The line between church and state is slowly being eroded by the religious wrong. Be afraid.......be very afraid.

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Dr. Bill Maier

Dr.(?) Bill Maier was a guest on a recent radio talk show I was listening to while driving home from work. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. His latest book is all about the "evils" of same sex marriage. He offered up statistics of several states such as Oregon, a liberal state where 67% of the population were against the legalization of same sex unions. More such statistics were offered over the course of the interview.

Finally, the interviewer asked him if the statistics were reversed and the majority of people supported same sex marriage, would he then change his position.

"Definitely not" he replied. "They would all be wrong!"

It's no wonder that Dr.(?) Maier is James Dobson's partner-in-crime at Focus on the Family.

In addition Dr.(?) Maier went on to express his view that homosexuality is not something you're born with but rather something that you learn and there is no evidence that exists to support the former theory.

I'm sure his parents will be happy to know that their hard earned money wasn't wasted on Dr.(?) Maier's education at the Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in La Mirada, California. (Yes I know, I never heard of it either).

CLASSIFICATION: EVIL

Monday, October 24, 2005

Civil rights icon Rosa Parks dies at 92


Rosa Parks, who helped trigger the civil rights movement in the 1950s, died Monday, her longtime friends told CNN. She was 92.

She was the person who started it all.

Thirty years ago, a somewhat larger group of college students (basically...kids) protested and put an end to an immoral and illegal war. A war not unlike the one we have at present.

Where are the kids in America now?

CLASSIFICATION: GOOD
read more | digg story

1000 pound butter sculpture of Vader and Yoda at the Tulsa State Fair


Crazy Captions:
"I guess you'd spread it on the Dark Side of your toast."
"I can't believe it's not Yoda!"
"1000 pounds? That's half a Ton-Ton!"
"The next sculpture should be 'Lard of the Rings'".
"or 'The Count of Monte Crisco'".


Send me more captions and I'll post the best.
CLASSIFICATION: GOOD

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Welcome to Celestial Reasoning

This is the first post of many to this blog. All variety of topics will be covered here. Some funny, some sad, some frightening but all illuminating in one way or another. The underlying theme is simple. There is good and there is evil and we need to know the difference. Please feel free to comment.

Let's begin with a basic list of what is already known to be evil. The next post will cover what is good. The lists will be constantly evolving and input from readers is welcome. The only caveat is that any people on these lists must still be alive (excluding George Bush). The dead are already too set in their ways.

EVIL
Have I forgotten anyone or anything?